In this video Eyal goes through how to perform a Yoni massage, as well as the benefits for both the practitioner and recipient.
you can also check out the audio here:
Full transcript of this talk:
Yoni Massage, what is it, and what can you do to in order to pleasure, heal and empower your woman? My name is Eyal and I am a sexuality expert, an orgasm expert and also a human potential coach. I’ve been exploring this for years. I’ve been exploring this in some ways all my life. I have started practicing Tantra at around 2005, but the first Yoni massage I gave to a woman was around 1998, 1999, something like that. So I’ve really been exploring this for many years. And also, my path as a sexual healer started basically when I was a child, when I was a teenager. So, I’ve been really doing this for many, many years. And, I got into this Tantric workshop, Tantric community, many years ago, and then I started practicing ejaculation control, which meant I needed to pull out many times. And then, when I pulled out, I wanted to keep pleasuring my woman. And then as I was pleasuring my woman, I learned how to do Yoni massage.
Yoni, for those who aren’t familiar with the Sanskrit term, is another word for vagina. So, in some ways you can see it as a vaginal massage, although it’s not just that. So, I was in the Tantric community and I was very sexually active. I was, basically, giving Yoni massage to every woman I was with, to every lover I was with. And then, women started telling me, like, “You should offer it to other people, you should start offering it to other women as a service.” And I was like, “Oh no, no. I’m not good enough.” So, women were telling me that I should offer this as a service because I was really healing many, many women through making love with them and through Yoni massage, as lovers. And they told me, “Yeah, you should offer this as an offering, as a service for others.” And, I’m like, “No, I’m not good enough. I have not been doing it for 30 years like my teacher,” or, “I need a certificate,” or whatever.
And then, one of my friends told me, “You’re already doing it, so just recognize that you do it, and, like Nike, just do it.” So I started doing Yoni massage, and before I actually started doing that I told somebody that I started to offer it as a service. And another woman came to me the next day and she said, “Oh, I want to have a Yoni massage with you.” And I said, “You know? Did the other woman tell you?” And she said, “No, I just thought who would be the best person to do that, and I thought about you. And I want to pay you as a healing session, not as a lovemaking session.” That woman turned out to be Layla Martin, for those of you who don’t know her. That was my first client and she wrote about me in her book Wild Woman in the Bedroom.
So, I’m telling you all this to share with you that I have been doing all this for years. I have been working with people who are themselves practitioners and I got some amazing reviews. You can check the website Intimate Power. There’s a testimonials page somewhere there and it’s quite long. The reason also that I am saying this is that I see many people who are, “You know I just found this website today with this guy talking about Yoni massage. He’s giving like ‘happy ending’ to women.” And it’s like, “Whatever that means.” And, I was moved to do this talk, share this talk, and to share with people what it actually is.
Yoni massage is an art. Yoni massage is not just about the Yoni, it’s about a sexual awakening. It’s about empowerment. Yoni massage is something you can do during sex, it’s also something you can do outside of sex. You can do this for your lover and also you can do it for your friends, or people who walk with me do it as practitioner and client. You don’t necessarily have to make love with somebody in order to receive Yoni massage, and one of my goals for this video presentation is to teach men how to do this. And just to go back a moment, I think that many men are too worried that that is even possible, that it even exists. A friend told me that she heard on the radio that these guys were saying that men can receive a hand job from a woman, let’s say, but what is the equivalent for a woman? What can we do to her? It’s like what is the equivalent for finger massage?
So people are not aware actually, that you can massage a woman’s vagina and bring her amazing benefits and also get some benefits for yourself. So there’s huge benefits of Yoni massage. There’s huge benefits for the woman who is receiving that, there’s a huge benefit for the man who is giving that, and excuse me, I am quite heteronormative, so if your experience is different, just translate what I’m saying into your own terms. So, yeah, there’s huge benefits. And generally, the benefits are pleasure, healing and power, which are words that I really love to use, aspects that I really love to use. This is the book that I published last year, Orgasm Unleashed: Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power.
So, in a Yoni massage, one of the things that the recipient would receive is pleasure, healing and power. This is something that can connect a woman to really new kind of orgasms. There’s eight different kind of orgasms that you can have, and another way there is 20 different kinds of orgasms that you can have. There’s much more than just clitoral stimulation and clitoral orgasm. So by giving your woman a Yoni massage you can look to open her to new kinds of pleasure and new kinds of orgasmic states.
Lisa Faramosa, I’m happy that you are asking me a question. By the way, it’s like this is a presentation but I’m doing it on Facebook, live, not recording a video, so people would ask me questions. “Could this be used for self-care as a woman? Is it possible as healing?” It’s very possible for yourself. This is something—I am looking at my book, I don’t remember exactly where it is—so it is in the book, and this is something that a woman can and should do for herself. Healing starts with you. Empowerment starts with you. Transformation starts with you. So by all means do this for yourself as well, use your fingers, use a dildo, use some long vegetable. If you have an issue with inserting long vegetables into yourself, I would ask myself, “Why?” So, by all means, do this even every day. Do this for a month. Self-pleasuring and internal stimulation is one of the core practices that I share with my clients and with my students at my workshops.
In this presentation I want to talk about what a man, or what a person can do for another person. So, there’s three aspects: pleasure, healing and power. Pleasure means that you can take your woman and you can help her be crazily orgasmic – become crazily orgasmic. You can help her experience multiple, multiple of multiple orgasms, and different types of orgasms, and also, what I’m usually talking about is the orgasmic state. So I think if you Google “orgasmic state”, it’s probably one of the first results there. It’s not about the orgasmic peak, it’s about that as a state. As a continuous, long state of orgasm that a person, a man or a woman, a woman or a man, can be in. So yeah, lots of different kinds of pleasure, and when I say pleasure, it’s like stuff that you, as women, are not aware of what is possible. It’s like it’s mind blowing, the level. I had this one client, I gave her Yoni massage and sexual healing and she said, “Here I was, a woman who until recently thought she was non-orgasmic, in a whole body orgasm that lasted for around two hours”. So this is what’s possible.
The second thing is obviously healing. And healing is very important. And by the way, these three aspects are connected to each other. If you only tried to give your partner pleasure, or you as a recipient, as a woman, you only try to have pleasure, that might work a little bit, but after a while, there’s some stuff that wants to come to the surface. And healing is a very important aspect of Yoni massage and generally of Tantra and sexuality and personal development, which is not discussed so much. Obviously, many women have experienced some kind of sexual abuse, but even if you haven’t experienced any kind of sexual abuse, many women still hold emotions, hold memories, hold stuff in the Yoni. And because that stuff is not being dealt with, it was suppressed. It’s still there. And then, when you’re making love, suddenly you will have anger, you have sadness, you have frustration. This stuff will start coming up. So Yoni massage is one of the things that are able to heal sexual trauma, sexual abuse, pain in your vagina, vaginismus, different kind of issues that women have, or just numbness. So many women are numb inside their vagina. They don’t feel inside. They feel at the entrance a little bit, they feel the clitoris obviously, but inside, it’s like they don’t have any sensitivity inside. And so, Yoni massage can bring sensitivity there as well.
Another thing, it’s not just a physical thing with the healing, it’s an emotional healing as well. So there is some physical healing, like you actually press some points there and you activate some points and you dissolve muscle contractions, but, it’s also very strong energetic healing, very strong emotional healing with Yoni massage.
And by the way, people, if you have questions, ask questions because I am looking at the comments section. And also, if you find this valuable, please, right now, share it on your Facebook someone, or Skype someone, or text someone, so they can join and they can receive this information. We are going to go for another half an hour or so.
So, pleasure, healing and power. The last thing is power. The last aspect of Yoni massage is power. And Soraya, I don’t know who is doing Yoni massage in New Zealand. Afterwards, people watching this can post on the thread of this video and help Soraya find somebody in New Zealand. Anyway, let’s continue. Power. Power is very important. And I’m talking a lot about intimate power, unleash your pleasure power, Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power. Power is a very important aspect. So, through Yoni massage you actually empower a woman to experience orgasm by herself. So although you are giving her a session and through the session you are facilitating a space for her, facilitating an orgasm for her, you’re facilitating healing for her. It’s like, when I was making love with women and when I was giving the Yoni massages as lovers or clients, my intention there was that afterwards, the woman doesn’t need me anymore and she can meet anybody and have amazing sex with them and become crazy orgasmic and independent and empowered and confident by herself.
So this is the beauty of Yoni massage. It’s not like a happy ending. It’s not a sexual service. It’s something that teaches a woman how to receive that first, and afterwards how to experience that by herself. And this is very important to understand, that a lot of things we can do by ourselves, and I really believe in that. That’s the core of my teachings. But, also, that there’s some stuff that we can receive. So I received sexual healing from people, from woman usually. And, it’s like, stuff that I couldn’t do for myself. So, Yoni massage, pleasure, healing and power.
Another thing to remember, that the giver is receiving a lot from that. So, specifically, when a man is making love to a woman and it’s like he can pull out if he’s too close to ejaculation, as I recommend he doesn’t ejaculate. He stops himself before he ejaculates, and then he can pleasure his woman with his fingers specifically. So it’s something to do to help you with ejaculation control practice. And, honestly, it’s also something that helps you with your confidence. So, as men, it’s like, “Yeah, okay, don’t feed the ego and stuff,” but sometimes you want to know, you want to feel that you are confident that you can bring a woman to orgasm, or to an hour of orgasm. So, there’s great benefit for the giver. This is also something that allows you to move away from goal-oriented sex and penetration-oriented sex, because so many people are focused on this. And, again, penetration is amazing. Nothing is like penetration. Nothing can replace that. But, there’s also non-genital sex, and this is something that can teach you that as a man. You learn to pleasure your woman in various, different ways.
So, yeah, giving without needing to receive. This is a really, really big one. There’s also benefits for the couple so this would really bring you together. If you share Yoni massage with your partner, especially if you were going through a little bit of a stale period in your relationship, give your partner Yoni massage. This is a beautiful offering that you can give to her. Before we go into techniques and stuff—I know people are like, “Show us what to do!” And, “What do we do with our fingers?” I had this man once come to me, and was like, “I know how to do this and I know how to do this. What else do I need to know? Is that everything about Yoni massage?” And I was like, “Well, remember there’s a whole body around that Yoni, and remember there’s a woman’s soul within that body.” So, it’s like, “Where do I start?” And as men, and I’m guilty of it as well, we tend to be very technical. We tend to be very goal-oriented. So it’s like, “oh we’re massaging the Yoni.”
The first thing to understand about that is that you start with an attitude before you touch, before you even meet your partner. You start with an attitude. And the first attitude is service. So I’ve seen people in some way give Yoni massage, but they are actually, like, taking. Okay, so you do that as a service. You do that as an offering. You do this as worshipping the feminine. And the feminine can be a woman that you met half an hour earlier. And I had an amazing experience of Yoni massage with women that I’ve met a half an hour earlier. So, you start with an attitude of offering. You do this with love, you do this from love. You cultivate presence. There’s some technical stuff, but cultivate presence and in some ways you give Yoni massage with your presence and not just with your fingers.
You have to have patience, or you should have patience and persistence. Remembering that women are different, and sometimes that they are different every day or every minute, okay? So, have patience, have sensitivity, okay? This is challenging for men, because, again, they are technical. So, being reverent, being transfiguration, which is see your partner, see the woman you are giving the session to as Shakti, as a divine feminine, as the most ideal version of herself. You should have courage as well, because lots of stuff can come up in these sessions, you know? A woman can have a lot of shit come out. It’s like anger, rage, frustration, and start screaming at you. I had clients that were screaming and shouting and cursing at me when I was holding a session for them. And, you know, they were telling me, “I thought about you,” but suddenly it’s an outlet. Suddenly, I allowed them. I gave them the space to express that.
Both of you should have openness, acceptance and attachment. So, instead of saying, “Oh, I’m having a Yoni because I want to have female ejaculation, and I want to have that one hour orgasm that Eyal talks about.” Fuck that. Be open to whatever is coming up. And you might have three Yoni massage sessions of – one of them would be just meh and just numb, and just not feeling much, and another one will be crying and physical pain or whatever, and the third one, suddenly, you start having pleasure. And the pleasure will be so strong, and again, it might be too much.
As the receiver, also, be open yourself. Be open to whatever comes up. Cultivate really clear communication. I don’t necessarily suggest talking too much during the session, but if something comes up, don’t hide it. It’s very important that you communicate with the giver. Another attitude is, you need to be involved. In some ways, you’re relaxed, but, you’re still an active part. You do not just lie there and allow the person to do something, because that’s many times when women allow themselves to be objectified. Instead, you invite the giver. You invite your man to give Yoni massage. You ask him. So, it’s not just a consent. I have a process with my clients, I don’t just ask them for consent, I ask them for an invitation. I do the same thing with my lovers.
Is this serving you? By the way, I just want to hear, I see some comments. Specifically, I just want to hear, in the past 20 minutes, what did you hear that inspired you? What did you hear that contributed to you? What did you hear that was interesting on you? And also, use the comments there, to share, okay? I love to hear.
Okay, how to give a Yoni massage? I have 45 minutes to an hour, and it’s like, how do I sum up all of the stuff into, 45 minutes to an hour? And obviously, I don’t pretend that I’m going to do that. I’m just going to give you some pointers, and later, I might do more of these presentations, or publish a book, or whatever. So, if you’re interested in that, tell me as well. Soraya, “I just hope that there are beautiful men watching this too.” How about clicking “share” under the video and sharing it on your Facebook group, or on a wall of some other group, or whatever?
Bonnie, thank you, and I dare say that everybody can learn new things. I can learn definitely new things, you can learn new things. I think we can all learn from each other. Maybe one of these days we’ll do some Yoni massage exchange or something like that. Yeah, Shaye liked my comment about asking for invitation as well as consent. Just to share a little bit more about that, in the begging of a session, I would as a woman, “Do you agree that I touch you today?” And she would say yes, usually. If she would say no, I would start working on why there is a no. So, I would ask for her permission. But then, I would ask her, “Would you like to ask me to touch you today?” And she would say something like, “Yeah, I agree.” And I’d be like, “No. Would you like to ask me? Would you like to invite me to touch you today?” And for many women that would be a point where they suddenly start crying or they start getting emotional because it’s the first time that they’re actually given the opportunity and the choice to invite a man to touch them. And this is a therapeutic aspect by itself. So, when I’m talking about Yoni massage, Yoni massage is not just this. It’s not just massage. It’s not just something you do with oil on a bed or whatever. Yoni massage is – well, I call my sessions the Goddess Awakening Session, and this is what I teach people, okay? The Goddess Awakening Session is not just about the Yoni, and it’s not just a massage. It’s a whole-body continuous experience and a process.
So, remember that you’re integrating the whole body of your partner. It’s not a pap smear. It’s not like you go there and you open your legs and the doctor puts their gloves and there’s an examination there. Sometimes a Yoni massage would not actually include the Yoni. I sometimes have clients come to me and I tell them, “Listen. I’m not promising that I’m even going to touch your genitals or give you any massage, or whatever. You have to understand that when you start sexual healing with your partner, there might be stuff that comes up when you touch your face. There might be some stuff that comes up when you just hold your hand gently on her Yoni and do that technique that I teach which is called the Slow Rub, and suddenly there’s like, something’s there. So, she’s not ready to receive anything.
So, going back to the invitation, it’s something that you can practice as a woman. I noticed there’s a few women here as well. So, practice asking for what you want, but do it as an invitation. So, some women get really like, “Oh, I’m empowered,” and they start becoming a little bit bossy. So, a little bit is okay, but sometimes it’s like, “Please touch me. Please.” If you’re making love, not as Yoni massage, but you’re making love to your partner, so you ask him, “Please put your cock inside me. Please penetrate me. I want to feel you inside.” Find your words for that. These are some of the sweetest words that I know.
I was with my partner, with my lover the other day, and I was tired. I was not in a sexual mood at all. It’s like, “Crazy about you. It’s okay if we don’t have sex, okay?” And then, suddenly, she was like, “I want to have sex with you.” She said, “I want to have sex with you.” And suddenly, I was like, “Boing!” It’s like whoah. The moment that you, as a woman, invite a man, you tell him that you want him, it activates his masculinity. It activates his sexuality. So, your feminine is calling the masculine. Your invitation, your yearning is calling the masculine.
Okay, totally different subject. People, I like that you are congratulating each other. Nice one, and tell me also as I’m saying something that you find interesting and inspiring and contributes to you. Please tell me. I’m going to take a sip of water because I’m getting a little bit [inaudible 0:26:38].
Okay. Obviously, sexuality, there’s so many things that we can talk about. I want to give you a little something to start with. I’ll be talking to the men. All of these years I’m so used to teaching women a lot, and I feel like, okay, I want to share what I know with men so more men can go out there and go in there and serve more women, serve their partner, serve more women. So, tell your woman you can – thank you, Sacha. Tell your women that you want to give her Yoni massage, okay? Tell her. It’s like, “Darling, my love, I want to give you Yoni massage, and I want to give you vaginal massage.” And maybe she will be, like, “What’s that?” “I’m just going to massage all of your body, and I’m going to pleasure you and explore whatever needs to be healed. I want to give you this present. I want to give you this gift.” And you can even tell her, “In this session that I’m going to give you, we’re not going to have sex.” So, you’re removing the expectation of her needing to perform afterwards.
So, you are setting the scene, setting the space with intention that it’s totally about you giving to her. You, the man, giving to your woman. Set the space nicely. This is something that I needed to learn. So, for me, I kind of like this space which is empty. And for me it’s amazing because it’s white and empty. And instead, have nice lights, have candles, have some incense burning. Have some nice, very soft music going as well. Put some cloth around. You can do this on the bed, make sure you have a blanket because sometimes women have female ejaculation or other fluids coming. And make sure that you prepare yourself for a few minutes as well. Maybe do a bit of meditation and make sure that you are present. Make sure that your partner is also present. If she just came back from work or if she just took care of your three kids, or if she’s just crazily busy and suddenly you’re like, “Okay, sit here and I’m going to give you Yoni massage.” No. Make sure that she goes into a transition.
I would recommend eye-gazing and breathing together for a little bit. We can talk about all of these practices another time, but just get that for the moment. Just do some eye-gazing and look at her. And the eye-gazing, in some ways, is active as well, because you’re seeing her as the goddess. You are discovering all the beautiful things about her. You are looking at her body as well. And then you invite her to lie down. And again, ask for boundaries if it’s not your partner, or if she’s not ready for Yoni touch. Establish boundaries, ask for permission and invitation. Then, you lay her on her front. You can lay her on her back as well, but one option is to lay her on her front. And to start massaging her body, first of all, without oil. So, it’s totally amazing to give somebody massage without oil because you can explore different kinds of touch. And then, use some really good quality oil, oil which is so good that you can even drink it. Extra virgin, cold pressed, and so on.
Sorry, I’m seeing the comments and you’re cracking me up. Yes. Okay, I’m blushing. Thank you, Sacha. Lay her on her front and start massaging her first without oil, and then with oil. I have to see your comments. Massage with oil as well, and when you massage, don’t go into, “Ah, I have to touch this, this point and that point.” Just focus on bringing awareness to all of her body. When I started, I didn’t know how to give a massage, really. I was really basic at that. I could give a really good Yoni massage, but I didn’t know how to massage the whole body. So, just go with your intuition. Think about, if you have oil, you want to bring the oil all over the body. And it’s – you guys are amazing. I just love you with your funny comments. Go with your intuition with the massage. I think I’m going to put something there in order to hide the – that’s it, there’s going to be no comments for a few minutes. I’m not seeing comments. Yes. I’m hiding, yes. Lovingly, yes? It’s like, Okay, I’m a man with a strong presence, but if I see all my friends putting funny comments, it does hurt my concentration a little bit. It’s like I’m trying to give you a presentation when you’re talking, which I love you, no problem, but…
Rewind, press play. When you start this session for your lover, you have to set aside at least an hour. At least an hour. It’s like a joke in time travel. A man tells his lover, “No, let’s make love,” and she says, “But we only have two hours.” So, that’s the same thing with Yoni massage. Make sure that you have at least an hour if possible. I regularly give sessions of three hours, and sometimes I went to four, five hours, just to give you an example. So set aside time. And then, when you start the session, make sure that you don’t just focus on pleasure. You focus on connection. Don’t just try to pleasure your partner. Feel how you’re connecting to her body and feel like you are connecting her with her body. I kind of like asking myself how deep do I go in the remaining 15, 20 minutes that we have.
Let’s go technical. And I just want to say there’s so much that I’m kind of like jumping over right now, just to share with you some techniques that you can use tonight. But just know that there’s so much stuff. Thank you for the hearts. I can see the hearts. Bring on the hearts. There’s so many techniques and there’s so many things that are in between. So, obviously, it’s not a pap smear. You don’t go directly to a Yoni. So, give her a whole-body massage and focus on her breasts, focus on her tummy, her belly, her hips, her thigs, a little bit on her neck as well. So, the whole body, basically, but just give more focus on these areas.
And then, when you feel that she’s starting to open—by the way, there’s so many by the ways, make sure that she’s breathing through her belly. It’s funny, some of these things I’ve been doing for years and it’s just trying to remember what it is I’m doing in a session. Make sure that she’s breathing into her belly, and breathing into your belly is another orgasm technique that I cover which is very important. And it’s the reason why many times women are not orgasmic, or they’re not connected to their emotions or not expending or internalizing their orgasms. So, make sure that she’s breathing into her belly, make sure that she is making sounds as well, very important. And you can make sounds with her.
And then, drum roll, ask her, “Are you ready for me to touch your Yoni?” And let’s assume that she says yes. Then, again, you invite her to invite you. You suggest to her to invite you. You ask her if she’d like to invite you. And in that moment, again, this is a very meaningful moment that some women break down and cry in that moment as well, because men just take usually. Again, I’m generalizing. Men are beautiful, no problem. But because of the lack of sexual education and sexual awareness, people take from each other. So, for a woman, instead of being subjected to a man touching her, she would ask a man, “Please touch my Yoni, please touch my pussy, please touch my vagina, please touch my flower,” whatever words that you find to express that.
And then, use the man giving, or the woman giving—I assume the man is giving right now—just put her hand on her Yoni and another hand on her heart and pause. Because so many women—and I might look at the comments right now and see what you are writing, if this is your experience as well—but so many women have men touch their vagina and they immediately start to, what I call, scratch the clit, or try immediately to put fingers inside. Press, like, the likes button or something so that I see the likes on the screen if you’re agreeing with that, women. And by the way, I’ve definitely done that in the past. If you just hold the woman’s Yoni, she might orgasm, or she might start crying as a release. Because suddenly, instead of doing something, you’re just bringing awareness to her Yoni.
So, it’s all about bringing awareness to what is there. And sometimes there’s pleasure, and sometimes there’s pain and sometimes there’s numbness and sometimes there’s stuff that has been repressed for many years. And also, that creates expectation, because men and women are wired differently. Men usually want to be touched earlier and touched directly on their cocks, and women want to wait a little bit until you get to the main dish, main meal, yeah? So, finally, it’s like you finally touch the Yoni, and before that, you can hint to the Yoni, get close to the Yoni, but not touch her. Kind of like tease her a little bit. And then you put your hand on her Yoni and you don’t move it. You create an expectation. You create a yearning in her. Suddenly, it’s like after some time she wants you to start maybe pressing stronger or start to move your hand or whatever, and you’re not. You’re just holding your hand for like one minute, two minutes, and you’re just breathing with her. So, you’re signaling to her, “I don’t need to do anything right now. You don’t need to do, we don’t need to do anything right now. We’re just feeling. We’re just experiencing. We’re just being.”
And then you can apply some oil, and then you just start massaging her labia. I love this word: labia. Labia. It just sounds so juicy. Labia. You start to massage her labia, her outer lips first. And very, very gently—and men, always err on the side of going softer than what you think and then ask her if that’s okay as well. Don’t ask her every minute if it’s okay, if it’s okay, if it’s okay, but especially when you’re doing something new, have some communication and she might tell you, “Stronger, lower, right, left.” Then massage her labia. Try not to give too much clitoral stimulation. Clitoral stimulation is not bad. We might have another video about this. Again, it’s all in the book. So, try not to give her clitoral stimulation too much because it’s not just about pleasure. And also, if you arouse her clit so much that she orgasms, she might not be able to have this deep and more meaningful orgasms later on.
And it’s also not about clitoral stimulation. Yoni is not just clitoris. There’s so much inside to be discovered. So, really, think about it as worshipping the Yoni, think about it as activating the Yoni, think about it as bringing sensation and awareness to every part of the Yoni. Then, you can go a little bit up and down the Yoni. If this is her entrance, you kind of start going around the entrance and maybe pushing her entrance a little bit. And again, don’t do anything which is sharp. So, if you start putting your finger inside, it’s like, again, you’re doing the same thing that many, many men, most men, do. So, instead, go around the entrance. Push on the entrance, what’s called the introitus. The entrance of her vagina. And then you can ask her again, “Would you like my fingers inside you?” And when you ask that, make sure that you look in her eyes, make sure that you’re breathing together. Make sure that you pause a little bit, so you’re not going like, moving, moving, moving, and then, “Do you want my fingers there?” Just pause constantly. Every few minutes take a pause. This is a whole technique by itself.
And then, assuming that she invites you again, and you can do it really poetically. It’s like, “Put your fingers inside my temple.” Poeticism activates magic. So, make sure that your hands, your fingers are very lubricated. Make sure that she is actually ready, that she is actually lubricated and wet, because sometimes women would want to have Yoni massage, and they would come to me like, “I want to have Yoni massage,” but I’m like, “You’re not ready.” I would feel her body’s not ready. She’s not feeling all of her body. She’s not breathing. So, make sure that she’s really, really ready for that. Make sure that she’s wet naturally, and use some oil as well. But make sure that she’s lubricated, because so many people forget about natural lubrication because they’re using oil. So, then take one finger. It can be, for example, your index finger, and if the woman is lying on her back, insert your finger very, very, very slowly. So, go very, very slowly inside. For the moment, don’t worry about G-spot and cervix and A-spot and stuff. Just get your fingers inside.
And then what do you do? Pause again. Again, because women are so used to a man taking his time sometime, and putting his fingers inside and starting scratching in and out, in and out. So, just put your fingers inside and you, as the giver, notice what you’re feeling there. Is there pulse? Is there wetness? Is there warmth? How’s the tissue feeling? In some ways you’re feeling the woman through your fingers. You’re bringing awareness to your fingers. Again, it’s like every step of the way we can talk about it for hours. I would sometimes teach men how to give Yoni massage and I would stop them on the smallest thing because they would do it technically, without any presence there. I’m kind of like wanting to give you the overall picture so you can get started on this.
So, yeah. We said insert your finger and then you pause. And then afterwards, the first thing that you can do in a Yoni massage is what’s called Yoni mapping. I’m sure I have a diagram in my book, the only problem is where. I wonder what Facebook feels about showing a picture of Yoni on Facebook live. Oh my god. I once got banned, locked out of Facebook because of that. No, I’m not going to show you any vaginas. Maybe there’s some sensitive souls watching that and they’ll be really triggered if I show you a vagina, oh my god. Instead, I’m going to describe it to you, okay? So, vagina. Insert your finger into her vagina and then up there is 12 o’clock. It’s kind of like a clock face on her vagina. And when you push up, it’s 12 o’clock, when you push down, that’s 6 o’clock, yes? So, first of all, you start by pushing upwards and staying there for a minute. You’re not rubbing, you’re not in and out, you’re just holding. And see what happens. See what she’s going through as well, so you can ask her what comes up. What’s the sounds of the sensation? If it had a sound, what would the sound be? She’ll be like, “Oh, there’s no sound.” It’s like, “Okay, invent a sound.” What color does it have? What sound does it have? What sensation is it?
And then, after a minute there, you shift to 1 o’clock. And then you shift to 2 o’clock, and 3 o’clock, 4 o’clock and 5 and 6, and so on, so that every place, at every point you stay for around a minute or so. And some places many women will be numb, they wouldn’t feel anything. Or some places it would feel strange. No woman should feel any place in her vaginal body that feels strange, so maybe it’s like it’s new, it’s something that you don’t know and haven’t experienced before. Some places might feel painful. Make sure that it’s painful not because your fingernail is pinching her flesh. Be very careful how you’re touching her. And then some points would be painful. And when those points are actually painful, stay there. So many men go, “Oh, I’m sorry I’ve hurt you somewhere.” It’s like, no, it’s like a massage. When you’re receiving a massage and there’s a painful spot, you don’t go, “Oh, sorry, I’m not going to walk on there.” By all means, that’s one of the reasons of doing Yoni massage.
So, you go around the circle, around the clock and then you can do this also at different depths. So, you can walk on her entrance ring, you can walk on her middle ring, and you can walk all the way inside, which is the deepest ring. This is also when you would find her cervix. The cervix being the entrance to her womb. So, this can be a session by itself. You can spend an hour, an hour and a half on preparation for the massage, on this specifically, mapping the Yoni technique, and on the after-something, post session. We’ll get to that in a moment.
I want to give you another very, very basic technique. Some of you might know it already, but I didn’t know that when I started, so I want to share that with you if you’ve never heard about this great thing called Yoni massage before. This is, you take your two fingers, and if the woman is, again, lying down on her back and you in front of her, when you insert your fingers, kind of like two or three knuckles in and then you squeeze your fingers, you would find a tissue there which is different than the other tissue of her Yoni. It’s kind of like more – let me change the color of my screen so there’s more light. So the tissue of her G-spot is different. It’s like a really hard tongue. It’s very squishy. When you squeeze it, if she feels like, “Oh, I need to pee,” that’s the spot, because it presses on her bladder.
So, the very basic thing that you can do with G-spot, by the way, many people talk about a “come hither” movement, which is great, but first of all just start by holding. It doesn’t have to be really, really strong. Just squeeze a little bit. And again, just pause. Just fucking pause. Stop. I’ve seen some practitioners do like, the clients were complaining that the practitioner was too intense. Just insert your fingers and just pause. And then again see what happens. And then, after a while you can start this kind of “come here” movement. Sometimes, you want to do this for five, seven, ten minutes, and then go around to other points in her Yoni and then come back. So, if you do the same technique on this one spot, it might become a bit numb. It might become desensitized, actually. So, make sure that you’re not just on that one point, and make sure that sometimes you just pause and you just hold. And also, try soft touch and try slightly stronger touch.
I had this amazing session with a client that really changed how I worked, because until then I was one of those really, really intense practitioners, a lot of friction, fingers, and so on. And with this one client, I was just massaging her G-spot—I think it was specifically her G-spot—very, very gently. And most of the time I was just holding it. And she was like, “Can’t feel anything, are you doing anything? Can’t feel anything. Can you go stronger?” Like, she was trying to lead the session, and I was like, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” And she’s like, “No, but I cannot feel anything, I cannot feel anything.” And suddenly she was like, “I think I just had an orgasm.” So, she had the first orgasm of her life not because I went stronger but because I went soft and gently and subtly. So, yeah. That’s just one technique for you. And then you can also put your fingers all the way in and you will find something kind of like sticking at you from the back wall of her vagina, of her Yoni. So, that would be her cervix. And you can go around the cervix, you can kind of flick the cervix, you can push the cervix a little bit. Just make sure that you don’t put a finger into the hole in her cervix. Cervix activation is a whole thing for another video. Just know that it exists there.
Then, when you’re starting to run out of time and you’re feeling that there’s a natural ending to the session, make that also gradual. So, in the same way that you went gradually in, go gradually out. So, you can even tell the woman something like, “Push me out,” so that she would use her muscles to push you out. Or, you can very, very, very slowly pull your fingers out, and then immediately when you pull your fingers out, cover her Yoni, because a Yoni would be slightly more open because your fingers were inside. So, make sure that you put your hand on, and your other hand, put it on her heart, or between her breasts in the middle of her chest. And again, just pause. You noticed how many times I said pause in this one video? Probably important, yeah? So, just pause. And if she has her eyes open, look into her eyes as well. So, we’re not even finished, because afterwards when you pull your fingers and you allow her to rest, many women would either suddenly go into a deeper emotional state and start crying. And sometimes wouldn’t necessarily be pain. It would be crying from gratitude, crying from being deeply touched, crying from having her femininity recognized and cherished and worshipped, okay? Sometimes a woman would orgasm when you pull your fingers out, because so much we are programmed to think that we have to constantly provide friction and stimulation and penetration, but actually we don’t always need that. So, sometimes women would have very meaningful orgasms when we would quote-unquote finish.
So, really allow a long time. And you can even tell her, “There’s enough time. There’s enough time. Stay in this.” And many times some of the most magical moments in a session are those moments, so called after the session. So, really allow enough time. And then make sure, at least for the first time that you do this, that you don’t go into lovemaking. So, some men would be like, “Oh no, but I gave to her, so then I expect that she gives to me.” Tell her from the outset, “I’m going to give you a session and I don’t expect anything from you back.” And you can repeat that again, because many women would feel obliged, “Oh, okay, maybe now he expects me to suck his cock because he did this thing for me.” No, just tell her that it’s okay for her to stay in this receptive state.
There’s also after effect, specifically if you go to a healer to receive such a session and there might be stronger after effects afterwards. So, see what comes up for you in the next hour or next day or sometimes in the next week. I sometimes had clients that would stay in a state of bliss for three days and they’ll be totally, totally blissed out. So, I would also suggest for both the man and woman to talk about it later and talk about what came up and how they felt and what he did and she did and stuff, so it’s really good to share those experiences because many times men wouldn’t notice things, and the woman actually said, “Ah, that was really important for me,” and the man thought it was all about him touching a specific point. Again, guilty. Not guilty, fuck all this guilty stuff. I’ve done that in the past. It’s known to have happened. Journal. Especially the woman, journal. Write what came up. Write your dreams for the next day.
So, in a moment I’m going to look at questions. I’m just going to quickly answer one or two questions if we have time. We’re out of time. I’m running a workshop in Melbourne. The first Melbourne workshop I run since three years is on – we’re having a free intro evening to check us out on the 24th of June, and we have a weekend on the 25th and 26th of June in the south of Melbourne. By the way, if you are anywhere in Australia, anywhere in the world, basically, it’s very much worth the trip. We’re not going to teach Yoni massage, but the workshop’s called Unleash Your Pleasure Power, and it’s about connecting to your own pleasure power, your own mojo, your own sexual energy, taking responsibility of that, resolving and dissolving guilt and shame, lots of stuff about ejaculation control, stuff about clitoral orgasms and different kind of orgasms for women, talking about menstruation and how to diminish your menstruations. You’ll still be connected to your menstruations, but menstruate less, and then use that energy for your life.
Some couple exercises as well, but most of the focus is on solo exercises. Okay, we can go quite deep. It’s not for everyone. If you just kind of want some workshop where you’ll be having sex with people, it’s not for you. Nothing bad with those workshops, but we’re focusing in this one on your own practice. And it’s also for people who are open-minded. So, we are going to mention chakras and we are going to talk about energies and we are going to talk about teaching women to menstruate less. This is one of the most avant-garde, crazy things that you’ve ever heard. So, yeah, I’m holding the workshop and this is what I do. This is what I’ve been doing for years, so I’m very excited to be doing this.
Okay, the cover goes out. Soraya, “Women only workshop?” No, this is for men and for women and it’s for singles and for couples. So, even if your partner cannot come and join the workshop, it’s okay. Take responsibility over your own practice. By the way, if you’re not in Australia and you can’t come to the workshop, please go to intimatepower.com, subscribe to the mailing list, and also you can get a sample of the book, this book, Orgasm Unleashed—both for men and for women, by the way. And also, there’s an ejaculation control program there for men. I think it’s called I Can Help, or something like that. We’ve just been doing some changes on the website. I don’t remember exactly. Yes, under I Can Help you can find Ejaculation Control for men, you can find Orgasm Unleashed for women, and you can find coaching and mentoring. So, I coach and mentor both men and women to use their mojo, their sexual energy to unleash their full potential. So, if you have any issues about sexuality or any issue about being who you’re supposed to be, fully expressing your potential, I can help.
Yeah, okay. Let’s see questions. It’s really funny that I’m going with my fingers like that, eh? Let’s see what we have. “Let’s create a real book.” Yeah, totally. Okay, I don’t understand some of the things you’re saying. I just understand that it’s – Felicity, “Facebook loves it.” Yeah, Facebook locked me out of Facebook once because I put a really, actually, bad diagram of a vagina, and somebody actually complained. Yeah, a woman actually complained. Kevinthebowow, wow back at you, mate. “Learning so much about my Yoni, thanks, Eyal.” Thanks, Soraya. Wow, hearing it from a fellow practitioner. Thank you. “Pause and presence,” says Lisa. Lovely, thank you, Lisa. Look, read, “Got to love a man who is passionate about his work with vaginas.” Sure, man, I’m passionate about my work with men as well, okay?
So, I have a huge focus now on men, released a men’s program and going to publish a book for men and doing coaching for men. We love everybody, men, women, everybody. [Inaudible 1:02:30], “On the hand on the outside of the Yoni, just holding it. This is the one which melted me the first time it happened. So important, it contains something.” Yes. Okay, men, reminder. You have a woman here that says how much this simple thing is important. Because as men, we’re like, “Oh, tell us about how to do it with this finger and those fingers and this spot and that spot.” Really, men are so technical. Just hold your hand, cup your hand over her vagina and it’s fucking amazing.
Soraya agrees, “Gets me every time. It’s the pause and the hand on the heart that awakens my orgasm.” Beautiful. Felicity again, “Spot on, Eyal.” Thank you. “No lovemaking after, none. It’s a great boundary to have.” And I would add, by the way, just to mix it up a little bit. Some sessions it will be like, “Okay, it’s just a Yoni massage,” but some sessions—and this is how I experienced that—it will be a part of lovemaking. So, actually, instead of going, “Oh, no, there’s only Yoni massage and there’s only lovemaking, it’s all part of it. It’s all one thing. So, yeah, again, some sessions, it’s only Yoni massage, very clear there’s not going to be any penetrative sex afterwards, but sometimes this is some of the best foreplay or loveplay that you can have. So, afterwards your Yoni will be like, “Okay, I want my man’s cock inside of me right now.” Okay? Just to say you can experience both, but it’s good to set the intention before that. So, you, as a woman, you’re going like, “Okay, I know that I’m only receiving, and it’s only that today.” And by the way, if you’re agreeing to that, even if the woman changes her mind afterwards, men, you have to stick to that. That’s your test.
“It can also activate dark emotions afterwards for up to three days?” Yeah, after three days up to a few weeks as well. So, lots of stuff comes up from these sessions. [Inaudible 1:04:32], “I’m really looking forward to putting this into practice.” Thank you, [inaudible 1:04:37]. Tell me how it’s going. Soraya, James, I think I answered you. Simon, “Do you mix it up a bit? You generally do these steps and add other bits to it?” I mix it up a little bit. Yeah, there’s many ways to do this, but I just gave you one specific idea within that you can practice. Thank you, Dejan.
Okay, well, so thank you people for lasting one hour with me and my slightly hoarse voice for this evening. And I want to hear from you. You can post on this. You can post on this video what are three things that you learned from this video. Even if you knew that before, what are three things that you got reminded from this video? What inspired you, what informed you, what you felt touched by? So, that’s one thing. Three things that you got out of this video in the comments below. I’d love you to share that on your wall, on other people’s wall. Go to your auntie or something, share it on her wall. I’m sure she would benefit from that. I’ve worked with 60-year-old women. Amazing. So, share that on your wall, share that with other people, share three things that you learned from this, and also tell me what you want to learn.
So, tell me what you want me to focus on. I want to do more of this Facebook live. I think it’s fucking amazing. I don’t edit myself, I don’t find my words, my voice is hoarse, I don’t remember some things, but we keep going. So, I’m going to do more of this stuff, and yeah. Tell me what you want to know specifically about Yoni massage, generally about tantra, sexuality, orgasm, masculine and feminine essence, David Data stuff, Michael Bohn stuff. Yeah, tell me what you want to know. I’m here, this is my work. Okay, we’re going to finish. It’s like, I’m just getting started, baby. But yeah, let’s do another Facebook live very soon. Tell me what you want me to talk about. And thank you all, very many people of you. My English is funny, isn’t it? Thank you guys, women, for being here, because otherwise I would just be speaking to myself as I usually do.
So, thank you for being open to receive my gift and to receive my mission. And even some of you being practitioners with a lot of experience being on this call and being on this video and watching. So, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to unleash my potential and my pleasure power. Thank you very much and I really wish you to go deeper into this beautiful practice. Thank you.