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QA: losing interest after orgasm – what to do

Luna asked: I like having sex, but it is more for intimacy and the feeling of connection than for pleasure. It is so easy for me to come that I am losing interest in it. It never lasts for more than a few seconds and generally I lose interest in continuing afterwards. That makes me keep myself from coming and when I do it feels a bit like a failure – “was that all?”. How do you suggest I move on from here?

Hey Luna,

This is what i gather from what you share. It seems that you are mostly having explosive orgasms that lead to the symptoms you’ve mentioned – lasting just a few seconds, loss of interest, frustration, a drop in energy, shallow pleasure, etc.

I suggest:
1. Take a commitment for self-pleasuring with internal stimulation for 2 months.

2. Avoid any kind of orgasm for the first month. Use the “edging” aka “do not orgasm” technique:

3. Practice turning your clitoral stimulation into whole-body pleasure:

4. On the 2nd month, allow yourself to peak a few times a week if you are certain that it’s internal/implosive

5. Let go of orgasm as the goal of sex or masturbation. Focus on the pleasure, the intimacy, connection, healing, state of consciousness

6. Look into your values and beliefs around femininity, sexuality and pleasure.

Please let me know how this is working for you in a few weeks – I’ll be happy to guide you.

With pleasure,