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Q: Can’t orgasm and feel sore inside

“Samantha” asks:
I am reading your book and stopped self pleasuring by just rubbing my clit. So the last self time was roughly a month ago 🙁 I got a new toy and tried to get a gspot orgasm yesterday w/o success. Today, as often after using a toy, I feel sore inside. I assume I try to hard to get an orgasm. The longer it takes the more I rub.

Eyal answers:
Good job on stopping the clit-rubbing.
Don’t try to “get” an orgasm or anything. Focus on exploration, discovery, sensation, connection, self love.
Arouse your whole body before you touch your pussy.
You can still touch your clit, just make sure you don’t get an explosive orgasm.
Make sure your pussy is wet and ready before you insert your saliva-wet fingers. then continue with the dildo when if feels right.
focus on the subtle sensations. go slow. Don’t rush.

My book “Orgasm Unleashed – Your guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power”, was endorsed by female sexuality educators and described by one of them as the best orgasm guide for women. It teaches a woman how to become deeply orgasmic by herself, and later share that with her partner. Download a free sample or get the gorgeous paperback at

For resources, support and a vibrant community of women on this journey, join the “sexual empowerment for women” movement and group here: