I love you.
And I love so many things about you.
I love how well you are able to make me and others feel seen and heard and accepted and understood.
This is one of the most inspiring and meaningful of human characteristics.
I love how you sit on the floor of your bathroom for half hour and surrender to the water, and how you sigh and moan under the water.
I love how you raise your children. How you relate to your children. How you breast fed them for so many years. How you speak to them. How passionate and intense you are when you occasionally shout at them, with love.
I love how loud you allowed your self to be with me when we made love while your kids were upstairs.
I love your children.
I don’t want to have kids.
But i loved getting to know each one of them, and watching them in their sleep.
I love how different we are, and how similar.
I love how tall and beautiful you are, and how you wear high hills to be even taller.
I love how well you ride your bike, like a proper dutch woman.
I love how loud you laugh, and how your eyes become thin half moons.
I love how you cried in that movie we watched at westerpark.
I love how you make love. How we made love.
I love your house and your kitchen.
I love seeing you bake cinamon apple for your kids. and smelling. and tasting.
I don’t like Dutch very much.
But I love listening to you speak it.
I love speaking with you in pigeon french and german.
I love walking the streets with you.
I love walking in nature with you.
That beautiful park with the big trees next to your home we went to when you were wearing your overalls. Resting hugging the tree.
I love shopping with you and walking home with big shopping bags through the park.
I love being goofy together.
I love laughing together.
I loved dancing together at that music festival.
The teenagers were hardly moving and we were going crazy to that french DJ.
I love walking with you in the streets.
I love making love with you.
Oh how much i love making love with you.
I love how free and uninhibited and wild and slutty and juicy and orgasmic and tender and open and expressive and free-of-trauma and perceptive and surrendered and strong you are in bed.
I love how you deep throat me and pull me out only to convulse and moan before swallowing me again.
I love how you demand me inside you with the beautiful words “put your cock in me”.
I love how you convulse and shout when I pull out.
I love the feeling of the first penetration in each love making session. How i become fully content and don’t even need to continue.
And then 2 hours of passionate love making.
I love how you woke me up at nights demanding me inside you.
How you dance.
How you draw so much attention on the dance floor.
How you touch everything you pass.
How you smell everything you can.
How you smile at random strangers and talk with them and make their day better.
How easily you laugh, and cry and get angry.
How amazing you are in supporting someone just by asking questions.
How deeply conscious you are.
How lovingly you tend to your vegetable garden.
Your dirt-covered hands, and clothes, and face.
I love your body. How white you are. Your beautiful breasts that have nurtured your children for 5 years. How alive your nipples are.
I love your curves and skin and long hands and fingers and big beautiful sexy ass.
I love your pussy. How sweet and juicy and sensitive and loving she is.
I love your pleasure and your orgasms. How attuned you are to the sensations in your body.
I love how much you laugh and giggle and roar and moan and speak in tongues when we make love.
I love your sweet accent in english. How you round your beautiful lips around words.
I love how red your red hair is, and that you’re actually a blond that doesn’t wanna be another blond.
I love how genuinely interested you are in everyone.
I love your bedroom. cosy. gezellig.
I love how you have built so much of your house with your own hands (and your ex’s).
I love your cloths. Your summer dresses. Your thick winter cloths. Your overalls. Your night gown. Your boots that make loud sounds.
I love how you relate to trees and flowers and grass and dogs
I love how you traveled 2 hours on public transport both ways to meet me where i was staying for our first date.
I love how you invited me to stay at your place right from our 2nd date.
I love how you introduced me to your children and your friends and shared with me the essence of being a mother. I’m more connected to my “inner mother” thanks to you.
I love how you lovingly asked me to leave your house when it wasn’t working any more, and how you insisted when i didn’t get it.
I love the few meetings we had since then.
Resting back to the familiar, discovering what has changed, celebrating what is still shared, letting go of what isn’t.
I love you, I love who I was with you and how your memory keeps inspiring me.
I love writing this,
And I love you.