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I was feeling “down”. This is what I did to feel better

Generally, i’m motivated, positive, do a lot and accomplish a lot every day.

But I have bad days as well.

This past week has been challenging on many levels.

I had days when i wasn’t motivated.
I did things that didn’t work out.
I worked a lot and didn’t have anything to show for it.
I did things i wasn’t happy about, including being rude to someone.
I allowed myself to be disappointed by other people.
At times, I felt rejected and unappreciated, confused, overwhelmed, powerless, frustrated, unmotivated, uninspired, tired, agitated, angry, sad, distracted, or just plain “meh”…

Do you know the “Meh” feeling i’m talking about?

Even worse, i was telling myself “Eyal, you are a coach, a motivational speaker, how can YOU feel like that, how can you ALLOW yourself to feel like that ?”

And then, I just accepted it.
I allowed myself to feel what i was feeling, to really feel it.
I stayed with it for a while.
I made sure i wasn’t running away from it.

And then, after accepting it and feeling it, i asked myself:

What can I learn from this?
What are these feelings trying to tell me?
What do i need to do, or to stop doing, or to do differently?

It’s important to remember that everyone has good days and bad days.
Even the most successful, positive, motivated people have them.
But they don’t allow themselves to stay in the “down”.
They move on.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
~Winston Churchil

If you want to play with positive thinking, try:

“All days are good. Some days are even better”
~Eyal Matsliah
(That’s my real original tongue-twister Israeli name)
So, what did I do when I was feeling “down?”

– I’ve let myself feel it and be OK with it.

– See what it’s trying to tell me; what’s the lesson; what do i need to change.

– Realized i need to use less effort in what i do.

– Made a plan for next few months. Gave me clarity as to what i want to do, what’s more important. Made me feel more relaxed.

– Decided to take it easy, do less or do things more simple.

– Decided to drop some future plans (workshops in Australia) so i don’t have to organize and can just go there as a tourist.

– Decided to work less on my upcoming workshop, instead of spending days on organizing and promoting an intro evening, and running Facebook ad campaigns.

– Decided to join a 10 days meditation retreat in Romania. Just the thought of it makes me happy.

– Had days of semi-silence and semi-solitude.

– Took very long showers, one short bath, and one very long bath.

– Took deep breaths and made long continuous “AAAHHHHHH” sounds to express some of the feelings (Read my post “7 ways to deal with emotions” for more ideas).

– Went again to my favorite spa in Holland. This time by myself. Didn’t talk with anyone. Sat for a very long time in the outdoor pool, and sought the saunas and rooms where there were no people. It was amazing.

– Dancing a few times at “ecstatic dance” and also contact dance.

– Sitting at nice cafes.

– Doing what i want, not what i know i “should” do.

– Didn’t look in my “to-do” list for a few days.

– Helped others, both clients and friends.

– Napping in the afternoon.

– Watched movies and selected TV series episode nearly every evening.

– Watched a movie in the Cinema

– Watched Youtube documentaries that interest me, inspire me, or just get my mind off things: engineering, science, astro-physics, and human behavior.

– Meditated nearly every day.

– Slept a lot, went to bed early and woke up late.

– Had amazing sex (again) with a new lover I’ve been seeing for a few weeks.
– Allowed my lover to take care of me, caress me, nurture me, without trying to give her anything back
– Did NOT share with this lover everything that i was bothered about. Thus i didn’t allow myself to repeat my victim story.

– Chatted with my parents. It’s good in small quantities.
– Chatted with my brother. I always get great perspective from him.
– Chatted with one of my soul-friends, who is now in India.

– Cooked instead of having my maid cook for me.
– Another day: had my maid cook for me. Enjoyed the novelty and not needing to deal with it.

– Listened to very relaxed music, and also to uplifting music.

– Re-read Paul Jarvis book “Everything i know”.
– Reading “Book yourself solid”, which i’ve put off for waaay too long. Loving it.

– Compiling and sharing resources with my VIP clients, which gave me a great feeling that i’m sharing my “Secrets” and giving more value to my clients.

– Worked a bit on my book.
– Accepting and forgiving myself that i’m late with my book.

– Allowed myself to ask others how they were doing, really listen and forget about my own “problems”

– Counted my blessings. Reminded myself of what i’m grateful for, what’s going great. I’m so blessed.

– Went through the motions. Did some things I didn’t enjoy and accepted that sometimes I just need to do them.

– Took walks around the neighborhood.

– Went for a long jogging session. Stood in the sun with my back to a big tree. Will allow myself to hug it next time.

– Went to nature with a friend and walked in the forest. Then had one of the best brownies in a long while. Yum. I avoid gluten until it comes to brownies and chocolate-chip cookies.
– Had a de-caf soy cappuccino, and another brownie. I hardly ever have coffee. Loved it.

– Sat inside a cafe in the sun. It is late autumn but it was so hot that i was sitting with only a t-shirt.

– Wrote more things i want to do/have/etc if money wasn’t an issue. I want to stay a few months on one of the top floors on a high-rise condo. YAY!

– Wrote in my diary.

– Didn’t pursue romantic/sexual opportunities with (more) women, so i stay focused on my mission and don’t spend too much time with too many women.

– Organized my laptop files.

– Ate chocolate (you notice the food and chocolate theme yet?)

– Met a male friend for lunch (actually nearly two weeks ago, but it really helped me on a day i got bad news about a friend of mine)

– Ate out in a few nice, cozy, special or posh cafes and restaurants.

– Random acts of kindness.

– Acting silly.

– Wearing my best cloths on a daily level (it’s not new, but always makes me feel great).

– Expressed to a colleague something i held inside for a while because I was afraid of rejection and criticism.

– Hired a new virtual assistant. Allowing myself to trust another person, and accepting when they do things different that me.

– Wrote this list and shared it with my VIP clients. They appreciated it as it helped them see that their coach is also human and is going through similar challenges. It gave them many ideas to feel better, and they shared many ideas of their own.

Now i’m sitting in the 3rd cafe/restaurant for today, including one of my favorite semi-posh restaurants in Amsterdam – Foodism; Check it out when you’re there.

And – you guessed it – i’m feeling much better.

Bad days will still come but the important thing is to do my best during the “good” days, let go when it doesn’t work, feel whatever is there, learn the lessons….
and then do whatever I can to get back on track.

Embracing conscious effort and also surrender in the same time.
How about you?
How do you feel?
And what can you do about it?

 

With Joy, Acceptance, and Love,

Eyal.