The British lord William and his wife, lady Mildred, are having their monthly intercourse on a Sunday afternoon, just before their afternoon tea.
– William, is it “in” yet?
– Yes, Mildred, it’s “in”.
– In that case, (she whispers) “ah”.
You don’t want to be Mildred, do you?
Sound is one of the basic and crucial ingredients in expanding your orgasmic experience, improving your sex life and empowering yourself as a woman and a person.
Do you easily make sounds when you make love?
Do you enjoy making sounds?
One of the major methods that I use to help women become more orgasmic is by coaching them to express stronger and more frequent sounds.
Sound is related to the throat chakra (if you are uncomfortable with the word chakra, it can also be called an energy center). According to Tantra, women’s throat chakra is less open than men’s. According to medical studies, more women than men have problems with their thyroid gland, located at the area of the throat.
Many more women than men also suffer from throat infections. Do you see the connection?
Having a blockage in your throat chakra is related to challenges with expressing yourself with your partner and with others in your social and professional life – expressing your feelings, needs, boundaries, emotions, thoughts, opinions and preferences. Expressing yourself.
A woman who expresses herself more easily than others will find it easier to make stronger sex sounds. Sound is also related to the third chakra – the navel chakra. Expressing sounds helps you connect to your power.
Sound is often the missing link that is stopping a woman from orgasming. From really orgasming. Sound alone can make a woman have pleasure or even orgasm.
The benefits and effects of making sounds
There are many benefits of making sounds, some direct during love making, and some indirect that take some time to be noticed:
-More sexual pleasure
-More freedom in bed and in life
-Healing from trauma
-Helps you integrate your femininity and sexuality with other aspects of your life
-Can bring about your first orgasm or make it easier to orgasm
-Facilitates inner and whole body orgasms
-Supports the lengthening of orgasms into long orgasmic states
-Women often do not feel “heard.”Making sounds during sex will help you find your voice in life
-Helps a woman become more confident, creative and expressive
-Decreases or dissolves guilt and shame around sexuality
-Making sounds can facilitate higher artistic creativity.
-Your sounds bring pleasure to your partner, just by witnessing you and listening to you
-Your sounds make it easier for your partner to make sounds
-Your sex sounds might inspire your neighbors and help them make sounds. When more people make sex sounds, it will be more culturally acceptable to make sex sounds.
Are you already a “screamer”?
Do you think you are already making strong sex sounds?
Are you sure?
Well, let me ask you this:
Did your neighbors ever complain?
Were you ever going, “ AAHH!! AAHH!! YESSS!!! HARDER!! YESSS!!!” and heard a strong knock from the other side of the wall?
Did anyone ever throw stones at your window?
Did you ever lose your voice after a few hours of love making?
If this doesn’t often happen to you, it might mean you’re not making strong sex sounds.
All of these things have happened to me and to some of my lovers and friends.
My friend once heard my lover (and I) from about a hundred meters (330 ft) away.
She would scream so hard that I had to turn my ears away from her mouth, and my ears would still hurt and ring.
I have hardly met an orgasmic woman who didn’t make a lot of different sounds. Incredibly loud sounds.
So, what stops a woman from making sounds?
Not feeling any pleasure. OK. Duh. Obviously. But what stops a woman who does feel some pleasure from making (loud) sounds?
-Not knowing how to make sounds
-Not being used to make sounds
-Being self conscious about making sounds
-Afraid of how she’s perceived by her partner
-Afraid of being heard by others
-Afraid of being judged or criticized for having sex, for being sexual
-Afraid of being labeled as a “slut”
-Guilt and shame about sexuality
-Sexual or emotional trauma
-Having grown or still living in circumstances where she isn’t allowed to express herself – her needs, emotions, opinions and her true essence.
Read below for some ideas on how to release your sounds.
In some cases, pleasure and orgasm can be very strong but not be expressed via sounds.
I would recommend being totally free with your voice and sound, and then being open for experiences of silent ecstasy.
The philosophy of sound
These are important ideas and attitudes that would help you express sounds more easily, experience more orgasmic pleasure and express more aspects of yourself.
Every sensation has a sound
Would caressing your skin lightly produce a different sensation than scratching, kneading, slapping or pinching it?
If you needed to invent a sound for each sensation, would the different sensations have different sounds?
Of course they would.
I was once with a woman who would alter her sound with every new touch or motion, often rising in pitch and volume as her pleasure soared.
Experiment with finding and expressing a sound for every sensation you feel. If you don’t feel anything, make a bored or frustrated sound.
Every emotion and feeling has a sound
Making sounds isn’t just about making pleasure sounds, but rather about expressing whatever arises – pleasure, pain, sadness, anger, frustration, etc – via sounds.
Would joy sound different to anger or sadness?
So, make different sounds to express the different emotions you feel.
You might have heard about the mantra “OM” or “AUM” which is considered the sacred mantra or the sound of the divine.
According to Tantra, the sages once knew the sound or the mantra of every emotion, sensation, idea, object, and phenomena. Not much of that remains nowadays.
But you can take this idea, that everything has a sound, and apply it to your sexual explorations. Find and express the sound of everything and anything that arises.
“If this (sensation, moment, feeling) had a sound – What would the sound be?”
Every place in your body has a different sound
Would touching your thigh produce a different sound to touching your nipple?
Express different sounds according to different places in your body that are being touched, or where you feel strong energy or sensations.
Sounds don’t need (a) reason
Take a deep breath and make any sound.
Why did you make the sound?
Because I asked you and you agreed to, even if you didn’t feel any pleasure, emotion, or sensation at the moment.
You don’t have to wait to be touched or penetrated or feel pleasure in order to make sounds. Don’t tell yourself “I’m not making sounds because I don’t feel anything”.
You can make sounds just for the sake of making sounds. So, go ahead, make another sound, just because you decide to.
Different sounds – different effects
Sensation, emotions and body parts can trigger sound, but it also works the other way around – sound can trigger sensation or other effects.
Different sounds have different effects on your body, your emotions, your thoughts, and your pleasure. So, if you consciously make a specific sound, you can produce a specific effect.
Experiment with different kinds of sounds
Short frequent “Ahhh”, long continuous “aaaaaaa”, rising or falling sounds, crying, high or low pitch, etc.
Notice the effect of each specific sound.
More on that below in the sound-exercises section
The basics of making sounds
These are basic reminders that will make it easier for you to make sounds:
- Breathe deeply
- Sounds need air. Many women actually hold their breath when they are aroused or touched. In order to make sounds, you need to breathe. Deeply.
- When you breathe deeply in and out of your belly, it’s much easier to make sounds than if you’re breathing to your chest. This is yet another reason to breathe into your belly.
- Make sounds mainly through your mouth, not through your nose.
- You can make sounds through your nose or through the mouth. When you are really aroused, your sounds will naturally come more through your mouth, and less through your nose.
- Making sounds through the mouth will create more openness, expression, and freedom.
- So, focus on making sounds through your mouth from the moment you feel aroused.
- Keep your mouth open and your jaw relaxed.
- If you make sounds through clenched teeth, it would feel (and sound) different than making sounds through your open mouth.
- You might need to open your mouth and move your jaw from side to side in order to relax it. If it looks weird, you’re doing it right.
Give this a try in your next masturbation or partner experience, and let me know how it works.
[Originally appeared in Raw attraction magazine]