Think about the word “orgasmic” for a moment. What does it mean for you?
Well, let’s start with “orgasm”. As a sexual empowerment coach, the first thing I advise women is to expand their definition of the word. You see, when you expand your definition and understanding of orgasm – your orgasm expands.
For most people, an orgasm is something that happens during sex with another person. It’s described as the “peak”, “release”, or “climax”. And when women say they want to be “orgasmic”, they usually mean they want to orgasm, or have multiple orgasms, during sex. The reality is that most women struggle with orgasm, or they have the kind of orgasms that leave them hypersensitive, depleted and unsatisfied.
This is because an orgasm is not just about the genitals, nor is it just about touch, friction, penetration, sex, or even being with another person. Women who do the right kind of tantric practices often experience orgasms by themselves and with hardly any touch. These orgasms can go on for hours.
Orgasms can also be spontaneous.
When you become really orgasmic, you might have spontaneous orgasms throughout the day and the night. Everything and anything might make you orgasm. Women often orgasm in my arms when I hug them or dance with them, with clothes on, without any genital touch, on a busy dance floor. Women orgasm when I squeeze their hand, rock them side to side, play with their hair or hum in their ear.
Women can orgasm from someone caressing their skin, their inner thighs, their chest or the area between their shoulder blades. Maybe orgasm comes about from their lover touching their lower back or kissing their earlobes, fingers or toes. There are women who orgasm from every place in their bodies.
One of my clients orgasmed while I was massaging her Achilles heel, and I soon integrated this into my sexual healing practice. Anybody can be fully orgasmic with the right attitudes and practices.
You might have other areas or spots in your body that produce very distinct sensations of pleasure or orgasm. Keep deepening those experiences and also experiment with other areas and ways to arouse yourself. Anything is possible!
And it’s not just touch or particular places in the body that can bring about an orgasm.
Some women experience orgasm while meditating, practicing yoga, singing devotional songs or looking at the sunset. There are women who orgasm when they ride a roller coaster or bungee jump. Other women orgasm when their partner tells them he loves them or when a powerful man holds their hands.
Let’s look at some other kinds of orgasm you can have (men can also have many of the orgasms I describe in this article. I know I do.):
- Yogasm – An orgasm during a yoga practice.
- Giggle-gasm – A woman who is orgasmic spontaneously laughs, and this laughter can easily turn into an orgasm.
- Presence-gasm – Some women orgasm when a man looks in their eyes with presence and love; they experience an orgasmic state brought about by his masculine presence.
- Food-gasm – Some women experience pleasure waves, convulsions or an orgasm from the smell, taste, texture and sensation of some foods.
- Music-gasm – An orgasm that comes from listening to a strong or meaningful piece of music.
- Dance-gasm – An orgasm that happens during dancing, and specifically vigorous, sensual or ecstatic forms of dance.
- Pain-gasm – Orgasm can be experienced during painful moments such as getting a tattoo.
- Birth-gasm – An orgasmic birth is possible. Women who practice conscious birthing can manage to have a very pleasurable birthing experience and many of them experience various states of orgasm.
- Grief-gasm – Some women experience grief over their separation from a lover or the death of a loved one and the intense energy of their grief can turn into an orgasm.
- Thinking off (as opposed to wanking off) – An orgasm experienced by visualizing the sexual energy in your body.
- Meditation-gasm – An orgasm experienced in a meditative state.
For most people, orgasms last a few seconds, maybe a minute. But once a woman becomes orgasmic, she experiences orgasmic states that last long minutes, half an hour and sometimes a few hours. Thus, an orgasm isn’t the end of the sexual experience, but rather its beginning. The sexual experience finishes when a woman is so satiated, fulfilled and satisfied that she doesn’t need to continue, or it’s 2am and she needs to go to sleep.
I often mention women’s ability to have “a one hour orgasm”. A woman once told me “A one hour orgasm? That sounds exhausting!” That’s because she is used to the kind of orgasm which is depleting and leaves her tired and empty. Her vagina is often hypersensitive and she feels “done” but not deeply satisfied.
The long orgasmic states I’m describing are not depleting orgasms but rather deeply nourishing, charging, and energizing orgasms. Some women can’t sleep because they have so much orgasmic energy in their body. You can also say that a woman in this state experiences an orgasmic peak every few seconds, and thus thousands of orgasmic peaks throughout an hour. This gives a whole different meaning to the term “multi orgasmic”.
Women in these long orgasmic states often can’t talk, can’t focus their eyes, can’t sit up and some can hardly control their body. They often can’t walk or drive for another half hour or longer. Some of them go into a meditative realm which is so deep that they experience states of bliss, dissolution of the ego and a sense of oneness and unity with the universe. Women will keep feeling their body buzzing and tingling for hours, and sometimes days, after a strong orgasmic experience.
Women who experience meaningful sex and orgasms will feel so satisfied that they don’t actually need sex, although they are also happy and able to go again. Often they will be able to let go of behaviours related to instant gratification, compensation, and escapism, such as food, TV, social media, shopping, alcohol, drugs or overworking.
All of the information included about the different kinds of orgasm and orgasmic states is intended to inspire and inform you about what is possible. But try not to be attached to experiencing any of them.
Sometimes, just stimulating particular spots on the body will not necessarily be enough to bring about an orgasm. If a woman has trauma, shame around her body or sexuality, low self worth, disconnection from her feminine essence, or limiting beliefs about her capacity to orgasm, this will likely affect her ability to orgasm. Sometimes, healing and coaching are required to clear any issues and, therefore, enable orgasm.
Orgasm is not something to be forced, but rather something to open up to. Knowing that your orgasmic potential is unlimited and being present with whatever you are experiencing is the most powerful attitude you can cultivate towards your orgasms and everything else in your life.
No matter how orgasmic you currently are, you can always explore different practices to allow for more orgasmic experiences, in and out of the bedroom. As an orgasmic woman, you will be able to experience orgasms from any kind of sexual experience, including penetrative sex, but you won’t become reliant on a man getting you off because you’ll already be orgasmic. This kind of empowerment comes from knowing and exploring your own body and feelings, and what better time to start practising than today?
So, what should I do next?
There are other things you can do to become orgasmic. Have a try and let me know how it goes:
- Let go of the need and expectation to have an orgasm.
- Recognize that you might already be having some of these sensations and experiences.
- Bring awareness to every pleasurable sensation and any kinds of “orgasmic” experience.
- Allow your breath to expand your belly, and make a sigh or a sound on the out-breath. Sound is one of the most important practices in becoming orgasmic.
- Practice daily self-pleasuring and explore internal stimulation.
- Try to avoid the quick-and-easy kind of orgasm that leaves you depleted and hypersensitive. Let your pleasure build, and then build some more.
- During both self-pleasuring and sex, take frequent pauses, bring awareness to your whole body, and become aware of the subtle sensations.
Written by Eyal Matsliah – Sexual Empowerment Coach, Author and Speaker
This article was adapted from my book, “Orgasm Unleashed – Your guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power”, which was endorsed by female sexual educators and described by one of them as, “The best orgasm book I’ve ever read”. This book will teach you how to become deeply orgasmic by yourself, and later share that with your partner. Download a free sample or get the gorgeous paperback at https://intimatepower.com/orgasmunleashed/
A modified version of this article appeared on “Consumer Health Digest”, click on this link: https://www.consumerhealthdigest.com/real-stories/what-does-orgasmic-mean.html