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Soften – A poem




You’re carrying so much stress and tension in your mind and body.

I get it.

Life, relationships, parenthood, money, health, sex, work, study, tasks, projects, responsibilities, errands, promises, practices, to do lists, or just, you know “stuff”.

Can you let all of that go for just one minute?

Know that for one minute, there’s nothing you need to do.

Rather, stop doing.

Let it all go.

Allow your body to soften.


Soften because you are tired of being hard, of controlling and doing and trying to keep it all together.

and just soften.

Even when you’re standing, shift your weight so there’s minimal muscle tension required to keep you upright.


Notice when you tend to contract.
Someone says something.
The phone chimes.
A man looks at you.
A man doesn’t look at you.
Your baby is crying. Again.
An image on TV.
A headline in your browser.
A loud sound.
Uncomfortable silence.
A strong smell.
An envelope that you know contains a bill that needs to be paid.
A board meeting.
Your mom or dad about to arrive.
Your period is late by a day.
A pimple.
A grey hair.
Your dog growling at a passer-by.
The toilet seat.
The fucken toilet seat…

Notice when you tend to contract.

And just soften.


Notice your mind and its stories, but don’t get into any of that.
In this moment, you don’t need to decide, or know, or understand, or control, or plan, or protect, or remember… Anything…


There’s nothing you need to do right now.

What needs to happen will happen.

What needs to get done will get done.

But first,

Just breathe.

Soft, slow, relaxed.
Into your belly.

Yes, like that.


Imagine you are lying on a lilo, alone, at sunset, in a large calm pool.
Everything is perfect.
Just let yourself sink into the mattress.



Don’t try to breathe.

Just let the breath come,
and go.


Soften your belly.

You have been programmed to breathe into your chest and shoulders.
That just creates more tension and anxiety.


Allow your breath to effortlessly expand your belly.


Soften your face.
Bring awareness to your face and let the tension just fall away.
Soften your eyes.
Soften your forehead.
Soften your scalp.
Soften your mouth.
Soften your jaw.
Let your mouth slightly open.
Let your jaw drop.


If any of this doesn’t make sense, or doesn’t “work”, don’t worry about it.

Just soften.

Soften your body.
Bring awareness to every part of your body, and just soften.
Let your feet and legs soften.
Let your hands open and soften.
Let your arms soften.
Let you belly and chest soften.
Let your genital area soften.


Allow a smile to come to your face, without trying.
Smile to whatever is happening or not happening,
and soften.


When you breathe, don’t hold the air in.
The moment you inhale, let your breath just fall away.
There’s no effort needed in exhaling.
Like coming back home after a long day and dropping into the couch or a hot bath.

Let it


You are safe.

You are enough.

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

You matter.


Don’t soften because i’m telling you to.
No one can tell you to do anything.

Soften because you choose to soften.

Soften because you yearn to soften.


Your mantra is “soften”.

When you feel it’s all “too much”, just close your eyes and sweetly whisper to yourself “soften”.



Written by Eyal Matsliah,

Sexual empowerment coach, speaker, and author

To learn how to relax, love yourself, and share your gifts with others, consider reading “orgasm unleashed“, join the “Sexual empowerment for women only” FB group, or hire me as a coach.