Is your partner supporting you or stopping you from growing?
I recently had a woman book a bodywork session with me. She heard about my work and we had a short mini session where she was able to release some old pain, to relax into my guidance and to feel orgasmic pleasure without any genital touch. Actually with hardly any touch.
She was very excited about the session.
And then she contacted me to say she can’t have the session because her husband didn’t let her. I believe he said something like “If you have a session with Eyal, our relationship is over”.
Now, I know that my work isn’t for everyone.
My bodywork sessions include cathartic releases and intimate touch. Most clients experience deep orgasmic states for the first time in their lives.
So in some way I can understand how that would be challenging for a man.
But in the same time I feel sad to see this man stop his wife, his partner, the woman he vowed to care for “in sickness and in health”, from doing something which is so important to her, from healing her sexual wounds, from really stepping into her power.
Recognizing that he is triggered because of his own stuff around sexuality, I offered to hold a skype coaching session for him, without charging them extra.
I referred this woman to a female colleague, hoping that this will be less triggering for him. But I know that this woman needs to see a male practitioner to really work through her stuff.
I know that I can’t help everyone, but in this case I was a bit sad and frustrated not to be able to help a woman who was so keen on receiving help, whom I knew I could serve on a really deep level.
This isn’t just about this particular man, or this particular couple.
It’s an example of what modern relationships have become.
People believe they are supposed to satisfy all of their partner’s needs. And when they can’t, they feel unworthy and/or they stop their partner from having their needs met, because it triggers them.
And when it comes to sexuality, there’s an even deeper expectation to have all our needs met by the other person.
I can only guess that this man is triggered by the fact that his wife will experience things (emotional release, pleasure, surrender) that he can’t or doesn’t know how to do.
But how can he expect himself to?
I’m a trained and experienced sexual healer and coach. I’ve been doing this all my life. Of course I know and do stuff that he doesn’t.
But the thing is, he knows and does stuff that I don’t know how to do.
We all have our areas of mastery, areas that we want to learn, and areas that we will never know.
If we are to grow as sexually-integrated people, and as a healthy society, we need to seek sexual guidance and healing from those professionals who are trained to help us.
Instead of trying to be everything and everyone for your partner, could you allow them to seek what they need from the best person to provide that?
There are other men as well.
Men who either agreed to their partner coming to see me, or came along and witnessed as I held a session for their beloved. In the next session we took turns as i instructed them how to pleasure and heal their partner, and in the session after that they did the majority of the “work” and I just guided them when needed.
These were among the most meaningful and powerful sessions I’ve ever held, and those couples reached new levels of love, connection, and sexual intimacy.
How about you?
Are you supporting your partner in seeking outside help even if it triggers you?
Are you holding yourself back from exploring your sexuality, your masculine or feminine qualities or your power, because you fear your partner might disapprove ?
Would it serve you to learn how to interact with your partner in a way that allows greater pleasure, love and healing in your love making, your relationship, and your life?
After years of working with people 1-on-1, I’m finally sharing my knowledge and experience with others.
I’ve created an online program which is all about teaching men how to relate to their woman in a way that opens her to ecstatic pleasure, to deep healing, and to love.
The women learn to trust, receive, and allow both pleasure and healing to flow.
I’m excited and honoured to be sharing this with you!