Do you feel overwhelmed?
I hear from many people that they are overwhelmed by all the things they need to do, and want to do, in life.
Then, to feel better, they try to do things that they believe will make them feel better.
A friend of mine who already had a few burn-outs, felt overwhelmed again and asked for my advise. I suggested she needs to take time off, to relax and have fun. The next day she told me “Eyal i took your advice seriously. Look at my calendar, i scheduled all these activities around relaxing and having fun”.
She didn’t get it and she wasn’t the only one.
I keep seeing this notion on social media : You need to do more of the things that bring your pleasure, joy, fun, etc.
That doesn’t work.
When trying to do MORE of what brings you pleasure , it still adds up to all the MANY things you’re already DOING.
Doing, creating, even trying to help people when you’re overwhelmed isn’t beneficial for you and less effective for everyone else. It’s not sustainable in the long run.
That’s why many fempreneurs and holistic practitioners burn out.
I know I did.
Last December i joined a co-working retreat in Thailand, with big plans about all the things i wanted to do.
But I realized i was burnt out.
So I ended up doing nothing.
And I needed to take most of the year off to recuperate.
I’m gradually getting back to work and I’ve learned an important lesson:
To get out of overwhelm, you need to relax, and you need to free up time.
Instead of waiting for the day when you can finally take time off and relax, start by taking a minute off, right now.
Wherever you are, close your eyes for just one minute, gently inhale to your belly and make sure you do not hold the breath in. As you breathe out, allow the breath to just fall out, without controlling it. Imagine you come back home, sit in your favorite sofa or a hot tub, and let out a loud sigh. Breathe again and let out that sigh or sound.
Notice the contraction in your body – forehead, jaw, chest, belly, genitals, or anus – breathe into these areas and allow them to relax.
Do that as often as possible throughout the day, even if it’s 20 seconds while riding the elevator. Do that for a bit longer whenever you feel overwhelmed, stressed or when intense emotions come up. Do that for half hour a day if you can, but even 5 minutes is a great start.
Next, take an honest loving look at your life, projects, responsibilities, etc.
What are you spending time on?
What are you wasting time on?
Let go of what isn’t absolutely crucial right now.
Hire or outsource what you can, in your business, and in your home.
Ask for help.
Simplify, minimize, and set the bar lower. Yeah, that’s right. Lower.
Look at the commitments and promises you’ve made, and allow yourself to pull back from them.
Let go of the need to be “perfect”. “Perfect” is the enemy of “done”
Discover what is “good enough”.
Extend deadlines so you get a bit of a lifeline.
Pause and postpone some projects or responsibilities.
Decrease or eliminate your consumption of news and other low-vibrational media.
In your business, let go of clients you don’t enjoy working with, and projects and income streams that you’re not excited about.
If you have kids, have them do more work in the household. See if you can take turns with your spouse, neighbor or friend to take care of the kids.
Hire a nanny, maid, or babysitter.
Sell or donate stuff that you don’t need or stuff that needs too much maintenance.
If you’re studying, see if you can extend your studies by a year, or drop some courses. In this day and age, if you want to become an entrepreneur or even for some jobs, there is less need for formal education, so consider quitting your studies all together.
If you’re spending a lot of time on social obligations, turn down invitations unless you really want to go.
Let go of friends who are dragging you down.
If it’s not fun, don’t do it.
If you feel you “should”, don’t do it.
If you feel “obliged”, don’t do it.
If you feel you’re gonna miss out, don’t do it.
Recognize the need to do, to prove, to achieve, to get confirmation or love for what you do.
And let it go.
Recognize your identification with who you are professionally, and with being “busy”, and let it go.
Recognize how you’re comparing yourself to others, or to whom you thought you’ll be by now, and let it go.
Recognize your identification with a certain role or function – parent, business person, artist, spiritual practitioner, healer, etc – and let it go.
Letting go of some of these things might be challenging.
But it’s your health we’re talking about.
Once you have less on your plate, and more free time, there is already more pleasure, flow, self love, and joy.
And then there’s more energy available for your personal and professional life.
Focus on the things you are most passionate about, the things that excite you and make you grow.
For leisure, explore activities which are fun without being competitive. Activities that get you into your body, connected with nature and like minded people.
When you’re overwhelmed,
If you’d like my guidance in private, book a 1:1 session here.