Recently I was interviewed by Dr. Linda Wilson on 97.7FM Casey Radio. We talked for 2 hours about how I got into this work, sexuality as a healing modality and how it can change your life, and how most people don’t even know what they are missing out on! You can listen to the full interview here:
Host: Welcome to the Health and Wellness show everybody on Casey Radio 97.7FM. This is Dr. Linda Wilson and as you know if you are a regular listener to the show, I have fabulous guests who come either into the studio and chat with me, or we talk over the phone. And this afternoon is no exception. I have Eyal Matsliah with me today from Intimatepower.com. We’re gonna be talking about a whole range of things to do with sexuality, sensuality, women’s sexual health, creativity in sexuality and business, and the list goes on. Eyal, welcome to the show!
Eyal: Hello, thank you for having me.
Host: No problem at all, it’s my pleasure! I’ve really been looking forward to… This is such a huge topic. And it’s often something that people don’t talk about, so we are going to delve into that a little bit more, as to why it is that people don’t really wanna talk about sexuality , sexual health,… except I guess in those specific forums. And over the years you probably would have been involved in lots of those. But before we get started with all that, tell me where you’re from and how did you get to where you are now, being a life coach on sexuality, creativity and business.
Eyal: I was born in Israel around 40 years ago and I was always fascinated by women. I was fascinated, appreciative…
Host: Many other people are as well.
Eyal: And in some ways it was different cause I was not as infatuated as I was playing with them I was kind of like a soft boy so I was doing their hair and stuff.
Eyal: I was also very sexually inquisitive, so I played with my 4-year-old neighbor when I was 5 and I discovered her clit back then as well. And I really enjoyed that, but then we got discovered and then she couldn’t play with me again … And I was always very playful with girls, even back then. On the other hand, I didn’t… I did not watch porn, and my attitude towards sexuality was different. And then came a quite meaningful day in my life where, there’s a trigger warning by the way, for those listening, where I found myself witnessing a scene of rape, specifically gang-rape. I was 13 at the time I was appalled by what I was seeing. I had this tunnel vision dissociation, like actual rape victims experience. And I couldn’t help this woman. And I couldn’t leave where I was sitting because my friends were all around me and I didn’t wanna be the softie. That was actually a movie that we were watching.
Eyal: The movie called “The Accused” with Jodie Foster.
Eyal: But actually that movie was the most real thing I’ve ever witnessed. Back then I vowed not to treat women like that, and in some ways I became not de-sexed but I became… It’s like I never pushed forth for sex. Because of that I went through years of teenagehood with just foreplay, first base… And I really discovered how much you can have pleasure and connection and exploration without even having genital touch.
Eyal: So fast-forward a few years, I did discover my sexuality, I discovered also the powerful aspects of my masculinity. I discovered a Tantra workshop 11 years ago in Thailand. That’s really when my life changed. So there’s a conscious sexuality which is connected to spirituality and a spiritual practice as a life-affirming practice. And I started practicing the moment I had this workshop which means having a lot of sex. You’re really trying to have it as conscious sex, meaningful sex, not just F—ing, but…
Eyal: … But really really connecting with the person that I’m with. And I started to have amazing experiences with women. It was always about healing and about empowering. So not just what I can get from them, and I am very happy to receive as well, but how I can empower them, how I can pleasure them, how I can give them an experience that would stay with them beyond me, that they can carry to the next levels. And then, still answering your question how did I get there, it’s like women started telling me: “You’re really good at this! Why don’t you offer this as a service?” So I was making love with them, and it was not just making love, I was giving them sexual healing, giving them vaginal massage that’s called Yoni massage, in the love-making.
Host: And is that part of the tradition that you’ve learned about in Thailand?
Eyal: they taught me just a little bit of that and most of it has been my own exploration. Studies, videos, books and so on.
Eyal: And a lot of practice. And then when they were telling me: “You need to offer this as a service!” I said: “Who? Me? I’m not good enough! I’m not enlightened like my teacher. I haven’t been doing it for 30 years. I don’t have a certificate. I don’t have this, I don’t have that.”And one of my friends just satd: “Eyal, you’re already doing it, so just acknowledge it and do it!” And I started doing it, and I’ve learned so much more by actually offering that as a free service. I did a lot of sessions, had really meaningful sessions. Then people started asking for advice, you know: “How do you do this, how do you do that?” So I started giving advice for both men and women around sexuality. In Australia I opened a Tantra school,… And then the work widened, cause I realized it was never just about sexuality – it’s about sexuality as a tool to empower people. Because a person who is empowered in their sexuality, everything else in their life gets better. It’s like turning the volume up.
Host: Yeah. And we can go into that because I think that’s a connection that people often don’t make. And I think it’s really important that we do, because as, from what I do know about the work that you do, it’s the key, isn’t it? It’s sort of like as you say, it turns the volume up It turns the power up, it turns everything up if people are connected in that way.
Host: The questions that I wanted to ask you are very much to do about with why it is that these discussions are often only held in very specific places, and whether there are cultures for which this is just a natural part of the conversation. Go into that for me a bit if you wouldn’t mind.
Eyal: Yeah. I love Australia. I’m very happy to be here. In Australia, its part of the commonwealth… It’s still English.
Eyal: In its values. It’s very puritan. There’s also the Christian stuff. It’s not a very Christian country, but there are still christian values all throughout the western world. In the States it’s the same. And, by the way Aussies are a little bit more relaxed than the Americans, but still, this puritanism and this separation between what has to be private and what is public. It’s like: “Sexuality is OK, but we don’t talk about this around the dinner table.” You can talk about war, you can talk about violence, you can talk about politics, but no, sexuality is a big no-no. And then there’s the French.
Host: [laughs] OK, yes.
Eyal: The French, who invented the French kiss, it’s totally different. They talk about sexuality all the time. The Scandinavians as well. The Dutch. And I’ve lived and travelled in all of these countries, I’ve traveled in quite a lot of countries. And I lived in Scandinavia. I was there the whole winter when I started to write my book. It’s a whole different culture with their attitude towards not just sexualty, but for exaple, nudity. nudity does not have to be sexual.
Eyal: Nudity is a very natural thing. It’s very natural for us to go around without clothes. Like children, like kids do. Little kids do. And it’s also about sexual expression and sexual awkwardness. For those of us listening, I’m not saying that everybody needs to have sex with multiple partners and whatever, but even if you have one partner you can be sexually liberated with that partner, or you can be seually repressed.
Eyal: So yeah, there’s definitely cultures… And there’s also sub-cultures within cultures. I’m part of the alternative community of Melbourne, and we go to a festival called ConFest., and in ConFest many people are naked. many people are talking about stuff that you usually wouldn’t talk around the dinner table. There’s workshops, there’s societies. There’s communities that are much more sexually permissive and expressive, here and all over the world.
Host: And what about some of the Asian cultures? For example, you mentioned when you did your first workshop in.. was it?
Eyal: In Thailand
Host: In Thailand. And it’s the Tantra tradition that you were studying. So what about some of the Asian cultures?
Eyal: Sadly, a lot of the western puritanism has gone into those cultures as well. Tantra came from India, but the British came to India and then they brought their values as well and… And Gandhi, who I love very much, who I appreciate very much as a person, wanted to destroy the Khajuraho temples The Khajuraho temples are Tantric temples where there are statues with depiction of love-making and threesomes, and orgies… The kama Sutra basically in statues. And he said: “This is foul. This has to be obliterated”. Indians have lost their connection with conscious sexuality, and they are one of the biggest creators of this. The Chinese as well – Chinese Taoism also related to the Indian Tantra. Also they lost it with the Cultural revolution and the communist revolution It’s not something that they do. And in Thailand there’s a lot of double standards. There’s lady bars, there’s a lot of prostitution and stuff, but nudity is forbidden. Nudity is illegal. Public shows of affection are frowned upon. So we as foreigners are asked not to lip kiss in public because that’s considered rude. All over the world there’s a lot of these…
Host: Double-standards everywhere.
Eyal: And I would say that some of the traditional cultures were very open around sexuality. Very expressive around sexuality. and we lost some of it. I think that… I’m not saying that sexuality is the only problem in the world and it’s the cause of all other problems, but it is a problem, and it causes people to be disconnected from themselves. It causes people to be judgemental of others as well. because if somebody has a problem with their sexuality, they will have a problem with other people’s sexuality.
Host: An we do see that in many cases in the world where homosexuality for example is something that is illegal, frowned upon or all the rest of it. We’ve come somewhere that’s certainly not all the way that we could move in this area, that’s for sure. So Eyal, tell me, when do people confuse sex with sexuality. Now, I’m talking about the kind of sex that many people refer to as shagging. Why have we obliterated and destroyed the sensuality around much of what is just a human need and a human expression, and turned it into something that is about power and control and destruction in many ways?
Eyal: Yes. That’s an example or proof that when you suppress something, it basically doubles up from another place. Sexuallity has been suppressed, and now it’s all really expressed through porn, and it’s not expressen in harmonious ways. People have a problem with their sexuality, they go on-line xxx. something, and they see depictions which are unnatural, which are totally fake, which are edited. It shows people with bodies which are not common, with behaviors which are not common. Even something that they do that might be OK, they show it in a way that is not really respectful for neither the woman nor the man. By the way, men are as objectified as women are in those movies. I think that’s the problem – when you suppress something, and when somebody suppresses themselves, they will suddenly have an aggressive behavior for example, or very a needy behavior, oran addictive behavior. Somebody would have a problem with thei sectuality and would start having addictions to food, to work, to shallow forms of sex, to prostitution, to strip-clubs and so on. There’s nothing inherently bad in a woman taking off her clothes, but the strip-club industry is not something which celebrates the feminine. I have a whole blog-post which is called… two blog-posts actually called “The Problem With the Sex Industry” and the other one is “My Vision for a Conscious Sex Industry”, where I actually write about how things can be. So going back to your question, it’s like we’ve suppressed everything, and this is why it became a taboo and this is why it became… It starts to become twisted.
Eyal: OK. And even depictions of sexuality in mainstream culture are lacking, to say it very mildly. If you see in American movies for example,. So the couple meet up and they have a date, maybe two dates and they go to his or hers, take off their clothes, jump into bed, start moving faster and faster… And then it’s like both of them come and the man rolls over cause they have to do it in a missionary position of course. The man rolls over and then the bedsheet is magically covering the man’s waist, but (not) the woman’s breasts. It does an L-shape in bed. And then they used to smoke a cigaret; now they just talk. It’s so shallow! It’s so boring! There’s these internet top ten sex scenes, and all of them are boring. There are some French films and Swedish films, and Italian films and Spanish films and stuff that show a little bit more. But what we consider as sex is boring. It’s either boring or it’s fake.
Host: So we’ve commoditised it hugely as well haven’t we?
Eyal: As you said in movies, the sex industry, in the main. And so much… We can talk about what you’ve said.
Eyal: Something to add if I may. There’s a whole Judeo-Christian puritan thing about fidelity in marriage. I believe in having conscious relationships. The fact is, I don’t know… I don’t remember exactly, I think 40 percent of women and 60 percent of men cheat throughout the marriage. This is huge!
Host: Is that an Australian statistic?
Eyal: I think it’s either American or western. But the thing is quite representative.
Eyal: So half of partners cheat throughout the lifetime of the marriage. What is it, 1 out of every 2 marriages fail? Marriages don’t work, and I would say that many people who stay in a marriage , sometimes it doesn’t work but they stay for the sake of the kids. Or they stay because it’s safe, because they don’t wanna risk it with somebody else. Sexuality has something to do with that as well because when someone is sexually satisfied, they wouldn’t go to see a prostitute, or a woman wouldn’t have an affair.
Host: Sorry, when they’re sexually unsatisfied.
Eyal: Sexually unsatisfied, sorry.
Eyal: Sexually frustrated.
Eyal: If the woman is not giving it to them, or not sharing her feminine gifts and love with them, they want that feminine gift and love from somebody else. Even if they need to pay for that. And by the way prostitutes, and I do know a few and I have a few as clients, they don’t just give sex – they give affection. They give acceptance. They give love. So maybe they sell it… And sometimes it’s not even entirely fake. Sometimes they actually… I talked with these… conscious prostitutes which were really loving the men that they were working with. So I just wanted to add that this suppression leads to problems. Suppression leads to marriages either ending, or people living together and not really enjoying the marriage life.
Host: Yeah, it’s definitely one area where there’s a lot of conversation just about that, that’s for sure.
Host: And it’s a topic of conversation for married couples when they get together and share their stories in many ways as well. And we do, I think talk about sex in that context as perhaps an issue or a problem. But we aren’t necessarily talking about in terms of where can you go to get more information? You know, who… Even that seems to be a huge mystery for many many people that there are people like yourself out there for example, who do offer education and information around this area for people. So Eyal, I knew this would happen, we just did this massive deep dive and I haven’t even asked you some of the most basic questions yet! So, you’ve already told us how you became a sexual healer, but then you moved this into a much bigger arena in terms of being a coach. When you offer information and education, is it still all based on a one-on-one relationship, or are you looking at group work… How do you actually present a lot of this information?
Eyal: To give a wider context, I think that sexual education in the world is lacking. Children are… Teenagers are taught about the risks – pregnancies and STDs.
Eyal: They’re not really taught about how to make love. How to have sex, how to have pleasure, how to give head. About the possibility that yeah, sometimes there are multiple partners and how do you manage that. We become adults and then people think there’s no sexual education for adults. So you’re supposed to figure it out by yourself. In some tribal societies there was initiations into manhood, into womanhood. there would be the elders that would sometimes sexually initiate the youngers. Then again, I’m not talking about… Somebody can listen to this and take it the wrong way. I’m saying there’s different forms of initiation. Reading a book is a form of initiation.
Eyal: Going to a workshop is a form of initiation. What I’m offering is different levels of interaction with me. The very basic one is my book “Orgasm Unleashed” specifically for women and also for those who love them. The idea is that you can read an article, and you can read ideas. Not even a video; some people think: “Ah, I’m not seeing it so how can I understand?” I’m saying that when you expand your definition of orgasm, your orgasm will expand. And also about sex – you expand your definition of sex, your sex life will expand. There’s a few attitudes that I’m teaching, and when you have these attitudes, your sex life will change. I had women in workshops come to me and then say: “I never understood what an orgasm is! Once you explained what an orgasm is for me, I realised I was always orgasmic.” By the way, there’s a huge number of women who don’t actually have deep, meaningful orgasms. we can talk about this later if you wish. But sometimes it’s about understanding what it is that you actually wanna experience, not what you think that you want immediately.
Host: Yeah. My comment on that is very much about what it is that you think you are supposed to experience as well based on the education most of us have received, which is dismal. We hear about the mechanics of it. we hear about the repercussions of it.
Host: We hear about the responsibility of it, but we don’t necessarily hear about how it can actually be a transformative process for example.
Host: A healing process for many.
Eyal: And also there’s disinformation. It’s like sexual revolution, end of the 60s, women got rights – great! But then the sexual revolution was so much about the clit. (Did I) say that?
Host: You have. So I guess we are, yes.
Eyal: laughs . So since then it’s been so much focus about that. Women have to understand you have such a beautiful anatomy apart from this part. It’s not wrong, but there is so much to sexuality and so much to pleasure beyond this place. We’ve also received the wrong information and misinformation and disinformation. There is information about different kinds of orgasms, about the fact that a woman can gain an orgasmic state for an hour. That can be a very relaxed, very beautiful and subtle state. It can be an ecstatic state. I heard somebody say: “I don’t have time. I don’t have energy for this.” You don’t need energy for this – this is something that creates energy when you do it right, when you don’t have the kinds of orgasm which deplete your energy, but the kind of orgasm that builds your energy. By the way, I did say clit a second ago, and yeah, I have full respect for the people who are listening. Somebody is triggered. This is part of the holistic transformation aI will share in a moment, but if someone is triggered ask yourself why are you triggered? i’m not saying… There’s nothing bad OK, you’re triggered. Why? what is triggering you? What words are triggering you? what concepts are triggering you? You don’t have to accept everything ‘m saying, I just ask you t, the listener, to consider, and to reflect. It’s like: “What is my connection to my body? What is my connection to my sexuality?”
Host: And what belief structure are you coming from.
Host: Around even asking that question of yourself really.
Host: Yeah. . I’ve got a list of questions and we’re gonna get to them cause it’s just fabulous, we’re ranging all over the place.
Host: You have put a sexual healer and sexualuty coach, you’ve put them together.
Host: Those two things. So, what is the connection between being a sexual healer and then that concept of sexuality? And I want to ask you as well about sensuality, because In my mind, they’re two very very different things. They’re connected very powerfully, but they’re two very different things. The first question – you’ve got sexual healer and sexuality coach together. Why have you done that?
Eyal: I’ve been contemplating recently a lot about this, and I’m using the word “sexual healer” so people would kind of get an idea of what I’m doing.
Eyal: But I’m actually not using it so much. I like “coach” because coach is getting you from a certain place beyond, to the next step. healer says: “Oh, you have a problem, you need to be healed!” I’m really changing… Language is so important.
Eyal: Language creates reality. So I’d like to from now on to relate to myself as a sexual coach, a sexual educator. And yeah, there is some healing that needs to be done. The subtitle of my book is “Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power”. Many women and men by the way, it’s not just women who have problems and traumas and pains and so on. Many people have issues with their body, issues with their sexuality. Women who don’t orgasm. men who come too fast. People who have pains during sex. Some people actually know that they had abuse or rape or stuff like this. But some people didn’t know like something big but they still have issues.
So it’s really important to reflect on the issues that a person has and to deal with that, because, this might be answering one of your next questions, but people come to me and say… They come to me as a coach for sexual coaching and they say:”My life is great, there’s no problem. Only my sexuality. I only have a problem with my sexuality”. After a few minutes of talking we actually uncover that they’re not where they want to be in life, in their relationship In their business, in their career, in their creativity. it all boils down to their sexuality. I teach Tantra… There’s many definitions of Tantra, but one of the things that Tantra says it’s a word. Everything is connected to everything. If you have an issue with your sexuality, your sexuaity is gonna affect everything. And even if a person is already successful, already creative, already ruch, already influential, and they still have a sexual problem, that person should know that when they master their sexuality, everything else in their life is gonna shine and become 10 times bigger, stronger wiser…More amazing.
Host: You describe it as though it’s almost like a life force.
Eyal: It is. It is two things. On a psychological level, it is something which is very strong and it impacts everything. And also in a physiological or energetical level it is something which charges all aspects of your life. Sexual energy is creative energy. Sex… Biologically it is meant to create children. But obviously we can use this energy and we can channel and harness this energy in order to be more creative. Being more creative doesn’t just mean making a painting or making a sculpture. Everything you create you create a business, you create a workshop, you create an excel sheet… You create training… A lot of thing can be more creative or can be made better with the power of sexual energy. It’s a life force energy as well, because if somebody is losing that energy, think about a man after he ejaculates. It’s like a cultural joke – a man ejaculates and he falls asleep. Why is that?
Again the first aspect of my model, “Reflect”, why do men get tired after they make love? People say: “Oh, it’s natural. We have to do this”. Do you actually need to do this? Or maybe there’s a different choice. Some women actually get depleted after they have these clitoral orgasms that I mentioned. They’re not bad, they’re just not serving. And a woman would be kinda like done, like a man is. A little bit tired, a little bit irritated,. Still, there was a pleasure and there’s some level of satisfaction, but it’s a very shallow level of satisfaction. Ths is this life force that we are losing in this thing that we call “explosive orgasm”. Explosive orgasm means we have it then it explodes and we lose it. There’s another kind of orgasm, it’s called “implosive orgasm” And implosive orgasms for both men and women, they can keep the energy inside them, and then the energy implodes inside their body. They can have a whole body orgasm, they can have multiple orgasms… But then it’s not just about the pleasure – it’s about them coming… it’s about when you finish the session, when you rise out of bed you feel charged. You feel alive! Some people can’t sleep because…
Host: So they’re harvesting that energy and then being able to use it.
Host: With discretion I guess in whatever project you choose to aim it at?
Host: Yeah, OK. Ad this is something that you teach?
Host: OK. I do wanna talk about your model so that people get a really clear understanding of that, cause I think… I think in any way that we can discuss this in a really adult way, but also in an informative, educational and playful way is very valuable to people. And I hope the listeners are really enjoying the discussion so far. My guest this afternoon is Eyal Matsliah and you can find Eyal at intimatepower.com. You can go to that website, you can check out his book, which we are going to be talking about in a little while as well. That’s called: “Orgasm Unleashed: Your Guide To Pleasure, Healing and Power”. Can people buy that from your website?
Eyal: Yeah. There’s an Amazon link there, so they can buy from Amazon, paperback, e-book… There’s also a free 70 page sample if somebody doesn’t want to commit. They can download that and there’s articles as well. I share a lot of stuff on-line.
Host: OK. As well as your information, is there research and other types of information on your website?
Host: Fantastic. So a great resource for you if you’re wanting to check out this information in a little bit more detail, but also just get an understanding and a bit more of a grasp about Eyal and where he’s coming from. OK, so we’ve already talked about the fact that this is a risky topic for conversation for many cultures. And I know you mentioned before Scandinavia and France. Certainly if anybody watches SPS and some of the movies there, that body confidence and the freedom with no clothes, plus clothes, whatever. It’s not even a thing there, is it? You’re either naked or you’re not, where as in our culture it’s this huge thing. You know, a lot of body shame, a lot of body hiding, a lot of body negativity and criticism. can you make some comments on the damage that perhaps that can do?
Eyal: We grow with… Western civilisation has a lot of double-standards. I think we’ve mentioned a few of the already. Women are taught they’re supposed to be sexy So you look around and it’s like the media and advertisement and stuff. All women are very scantily clad and they are supposed to be like these sex creatures. But actually, women are told to be… To look sexy, but not be sexual. Because a man who has a lot of partners is called a stud. A woman who has a lot of partners has a different word.
Eyal: There’s this double-standard. There’s a lot of judgement around sexual behavior. One of my friends told me that she kissed a guy in primary school and she was called the s-word. For that! And she was like… we carry… So much of society carries so much shame, and they are throwing that shame and they are shaming and guilting other people for their experiences. And a round body is like… Western culture celebrates female beauty which is not actually realistic. First of all, obviously they choose model(s) who show typical beauty according to their standards. And also they photoshop these models.
Host: Anyone who’s seen some of those transformational videos…
Eyal: Yeah the Dove commercial.
Host: Yeah. incredible where they change a body using Photoshop and other forms of…
Eyal: Yeah. Or plastic surgery! In porn they do something called labiaplasty, which is they trim, if you can use this word, they cut the inner lips, the inner labia of a woman. So you see these porn-perfect vaginas which are supposed to look a certain way. And I’ve made love or worked with women who were ashamed that they had vaginas that looked different than what you see in porn.
Host: The depiction.
Eyal: The depiction.
Eyal: Again, this is infantilizing… Please help me with the word. Is that a word?
Eyal: So showing women as if they are little girls. Not to mention even pubic hair.
Eyal: As far as I know, most women have pubic hair. But you look at porn, and they don’t have pubic hair. There’s this cultural convention that women have to be… It’s like bare skin down there. Also around armpit hair. I’m not saying everybody needs to be one certain way or another, but it’s OK to have armpit hair. There’s no problem with that.
Host: Leg hair.
Eyal: Yeah, with leg hair and everything.
Host: Very interesting to hear you say that, because my child is 12, and we’ve already had discussions around her saying to me: “Mummy, should I shave my legs?” And I know girls who are already getting their legs waxed and that kind of thing. And it’s a challenging conversation to have, and you’re thinking this is my child who’s 12 and she’s already judging herself by whether she does or doesn’t have leg hair.
Host: It’s a shocking thing.
Eyal: And I would actually… I like to sometimes throw two opposite things into the mix. There is an aspect of femininity which is about adornment, adorning yourself… I’m not saying that removing hair is bad, I’m just saying there’s a possibility. So someone who would want to remove their hair, and would like to put on makeup and would like to put on certain clothes, and that’s great! But as long as it comes from a conscious choice, not from “Oh, I have to do this, otherwise men wouldn’t like me”.
Host: Yeah. So you’re doing it because it actually brings you pleasure rather than you doing it because there’s an expectation that it must be done.
Eyal: Yeah. I would suggest the ones who are growing it to sometimes remove it and see how that feels, and the ones who are removing it to grow it and see how that feels.
Host: Have the contrast.
Host: The full experience.
Host: OK. Eyal, in your experience, and we’ve got a couple of minutes before we go to a break, so you may not not be able to really get stuck in with this one…
Host: … but do you believe that we should be sitting round the table with our kids and talking oenly and fully about seuality, sensuality and the expression of that as a personal expression?
Eyal: Yes, because the kids are gonna get it one way or another, and these days there are 10-year-olds who watch porn on the internet.
Eyal: So it’s better that he, that you talk with him about this, cause they might anyway get the porn over the internet, but at least you have a conversation where you as a conscious parent share some stuff with them. And again, it’s not about you know, “Be careful from this and be careful from that”. Don’t make it a conversation about fear. Make it a conversation about possibilities and joy. Sex is beautiful Sesx is natural. Many kids have sexual expressions. Many kids touch themselves. And I talk with parents, and some of those conscious parents find a way to tell the child “This is beautiful what you’re doing. You have a beautiful penis…” Don’t do this at home… Don’t do this outside of home because maybe some people would not understand it. They find a very delicate way to make the kid understand what is OK in private what s OK in public, but also not to shame them.
Eyal: Cause I’ve seen some parents who say: “Stop touching yourself!”
Eyal: “This is wrong!” And even if they wouldn’t say this there would be an air of that around the house. So talk about sex with your kids.
Host: While I do know the statistics of young people being children, and teenagers being exposed to pornography,. I wish I had the information in front of me, but it’s quite high.
Eyal: It’s high.
Host: It’s very very high. I believe that some dramatic figure, like 1 in 5 images they see on social media etc are sexualised in some way as well. So parents – have those conversations. That would be my advice. OK, we’re going to go to a break and we’ll be back with you in just a moment.
Host: I think that was a very good song for our topic. Well done Thomas who’s paneling for me today. That’s excellent! Welcome back to the Health and Wellness Show everybody, and today my gest is Exal Matsliah who is in the studio with me which is really lovely cause I do enjoy talking to a live person rather than over the phone. Eyal describes himself as a life coach for sexuality, creativity in business, and certainly that’s gonna be the focus of the show after we have the news at 1 o’clock. If you have just tuned in,, we will be talking about all things having to do with sexuality, sensuality and, as I said, we are going to get on to how that can impact our creativity and what that can do for you personally, but also in terms of your business and what you can create if you are actually connected into your sexuality as a form of energy.
This is an adult conversation, but as we’ve been discussing, there are lots of ways that actually we might or could or should be educating our children that we’re not. And that is just to have these frank and open conversations around the table so that the information that your child is getting is coming from you rather than from social media, or perhaps their friends and where that information is highly corrupted most of the time. So Eyal, we are gonna go into this discussion about sexual energy and wealth creation and health creation., but I do wanna ask you a question around how is sexuality linked to our wellness as such. Cause this is the Health and Wellness Show. so how is it that it’s linked to our wellness and our health?
Eyal: This is a really good question. I’m really passionate about getting the wellness feel, the wellness industry to embrace sexuality as part of this. I have a friend of mine called Mark Cohen who is one of the founders of and professor of wellness at MIT.
Host: He’s brought meditation practices into that university…
Host: … and very passionate about that as well. Yeah.
Eyal: Yeah. so I have his endorsement and his blessing to talk about this and the idea that thi does… sexuality is a part of wellness. Wellness is different things. It’s lifestyle, it’s nutrition, it’s not having stress It’s spiritual wellness as well. I don’t think that many people are talking about sexual wellness. Sexuačl wellness and sexual health. Sexual health is not just not having STDs. Not having STDs is great. By the way, there’s also a talk about if you have an STD how to live with that but that’s a separate conversation. So being well with your sexuality, embracing your sexuality, celebrating your sexuality first of all by yourself. Sexuality is not just something you do with somebody else. Sexuality starts with you – you are your first lover. And when you are connected to yourself, when you are connected to your body, when you do not have pain during self-pleasuring or during sex. When you’re able to express yourself, express your pleasure, express your pain as well. express your desires. Some women and men want to do some things that they might consider that they are dirty, that they are wrong. once they are expressing that, their partner goes like: “Yeah, I’d love to explore that with you!” It’s not bad.
Host: So it’s part of the expression of who we are as a person.
Host: And it’s one way that we can be human beings again.
Eyal: yeah. Unless you are a monk or a non, if you’re a monk or a nun that’s OK, maybe then sexuality is not part of your life. But if you are a person who is interested in having sex in your life, either with your partner for the past 30 years or with multiple partners, understand that this is something that might need a little bit more focus.
Host: I’m just thinking about what you said there and certainly how reflecting back over the years we do have a very skewed view of discussion around sexuality in terms of talking about it from the unhealthy end of the spectrum rather than the healthy end of the spectrum.
Host: So we’re always and constantly looking for the problem rather than perhaps looking for the solution.
Eyal: And also focusing on negatives. Focusing on STD-s. Focusing on abuse. You don’t hear on the news that a woman just had a 2-hour orgasmic state, and her life has changed and she discovered her own power. No one talks about this. You want to talk about problems in the media.
Eyal: Especially in the main media and news media and so on. So yeah, this is such a powerful (slowness?), this is such an important part of life. It’s not the only part, it’s not the most important part, but it is a crucial part. Once you embrace it, once you celebrate your body and celebrate sex, you celebrate pleasure. You admire other people who are celebrating their sexuality. Celebrating sexuality doesn’t mean showing their genitals in the street to other people who are not interested. You know, the men with the big raincoat and stuff. But it’s about interacting with other people on various levels. Interacting with people doesn’t mean to have sex with them, but there is… You mentioned sensuality, so you can still be sensual with people for example on the dance floor without being unfaithful, as long as, again, as long as it’s understood and agreed upon with your partner. And then people go into some kinds of open relationships as well where maybe they don’t actually have sex, but they have a little bit more freedom with other people. There’s such a wide range. It’s not either being fully monogamous or free-for-all. There’s so much that you can explore.
Host: It is a whole spectrum and I think we do become black – white. Where’s the gray? There’s so much gray! And that’s where the most information is, in those gray areas.
Host: OK.I’m really relating to what you’re talking about it as being grounded, a person who’s connected to a level of energy, who is grounded in themselves. Because, of course part of the work I do is really helping people to get connected with who they are and where they are, and you’re just doing that from a different direction. And I do know how transformative that can be when a person says that they are truly connected to themselves and coming from an authentic space. So I can relate to it certainly from that perspective. OK, I do believe we have to go to another break because the news is coming up. You’re listening to the health and Wellness Show. My guest this afternoon is eyal Matsliah, and you can look at some information on the website Intimatepower.com. You might like to download the free sample of Eyal’s book which is Orgasm Unleashed: Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power, and we’ll be back right after the news.
Host: Welcome back to the Health and Wellness Show everybody. Tat was about pouring sugar on you. I think it goes really well with the topic that we’re doing this afternoon., which is on the Health and Wellness Show with myself, dr. Linda Wilson and my special guest is Eyal Matsliah, and we are talking about all things sexuality. And pouring sugar on is one expression of that I guess you could say. We were talking before about you know, it’s not black and white- there’s a whole area of grey Eyal that we often don’t go into and to those conversations. It’s really about touching on some of those things that often we don’t speak about. So the one thing I advertised the show, one that you saw on my facebook ad was to talk about sex and we’re gonna discuss orgasms. I wanted to ask you basically tell us all we need to know. that there are different kinds. How would we know what we were having? And for anyone just tuning in, this is an adult conversation. We are going to work very hard to keep our language quite strictly medical because we know that perhaps there are people around who might want to think about that if you are in a car or children are in the room, because we are gonna be discussing this in a little bit of detail. Tell me Eyal, what are the different kinds of orgasms? I would have thought that there are many different types of orgasms as there are men and women, because we all have such a unique experience. So, tell us a little bit about that.
Eyal: What usually people are aware of is a man has an ejaculaton and has an orgasm. And a woman has clitoral stimulation and sometimes intercourse as well, but mainly usually comes from clitoral stimulation. So even if a woman is having sex and the pubic bone is rubbing… The man’s pubic bone or her partner’s pubic bone is rubbing against her pubic bone and her clit, this causes an orgasm. And for most people orgasm is a moment. An orgasm is a few seconds. I see an orgasm as a state. Once you regard it as a state it can be a very long state as well. I regard it… Every single wave of pleasure is a mini orgasm. So instead of being worried if you’re orgasming or not orgasming, understanding that every time you shiver and shudder, every time you convulse, every time there’s any sensation of pleasure, vaginal contraction or pelvic muscle contractions for men, everything is a mini orgasm. And once you… We’re already getting a little bit into the how, but once you bring your awareness into every such wave, what you bring awareness to would expand. Where wellness goes energy flows as we say in Tantra. So yes, there’s different kinds of orgasm, and those explosive orgasms, the ejaculatory orgasm for men and clitoral orgasm for women, they are not bad, they are just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more to experience. So somebody might be thinking ” Oh, I really know my orgasm and it’s OK, I’m satisfied”, and then I would say: “yeah, but do you know you can experience a one hour orgasm? And I don’t say it’s like you have to and stuff, but why not? Why not be in an orgasmic state for an hour and have pleasure passing through your body and feeling that you are in a totally different place with yourself, feeling yourself in a different way. Feeling your partner in a different way having that pleasure, having that experience charge you for days. Charge you for a week. That’s generally the two things, the explosive ogasm which is short and sharp and kinda like falls from the other side and you become hypersensitive. A woman’s clit becomes hypersensitive after this kind of orgasm. Ask yourself – why? why does a woman’s clit become hypersensitive after she orgasms? Because the energy is lost. Once the energy is retained in the body, a woman can receive clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation again and again for hours. There will be no problem.
Host: And that’s what we were talking about actually, the implosion you mentioned previously.
Host: And being able to then harvest that energy and direct it at the other areas of our life. So eyal, I have to ask this question because it was a question that was raised for me when I talked to my friendship circle around the fact that you were coming to the show. How can a man tell a woman how her body may react, could react, should react to whatever it is.?
Eyal: I should have a blog-post about this called: “How Dare Men Talk About Women’s Sexuality?” And it’s a fair question. The answer is I’m not a woman; I would never know how it actually feels inside a woman’s body to have this intensive orgasm. However, first of all I started this, and I started this from people who have themselves started this fom people who know and people who have a lot of experience. And I also had quite a lot of sex with quite a lot of women and also a lot of… And by the way a lot of meaningful sex with women. Long experiences of sex, not, you know, a 5 minute experience, but sometimes a 4 hour sexual experience. And I also worked as a sexual healer and coach with many women. And women who are sexually educated, who know about this stuff, endorse my book as one of the best books in the market about this topic.
I’m not just singing my own accolades – go to their website and see what Bonnie Bliss from Bliss revival is saying and Layla Martin from layla.martin.com is saying and what the power or Tantric love is saying. It has been endorsed by women because I also had two women editors and stuff. So I write this because a man can provide some kind of clarity to women. Cause sometimes for women… Women are energy, men are consciousness. Women sometimes go a little bit all over the place, they don’t have a structure. I give them instruction, I give them a clear definition and and identification of what is what. And then they’re able to be free and to explore within this. We can go into this later as well.
Host: Right. Glad we’ve got the clarification on that, cause I think it’s really important for people listening to feel that they can, I gues allow you into this space is one way of describing it.
Host: Welcome back to the Health and Wellness Show everybody. You are listening to my special guest this afternoon, Eyal Matsliah. Eyal is a human potential and sexuality coach. He has written a book that is called Orgasm Unleashed: Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power, and you can go to the website iIntimatepower.com to have a look at some of the information and edcation that Eyal has available to you. Eyal, do you work with men and women?
Eyal: Yes, I work with both men and women. And we’ve been talking a lot about women, we mentioned a few things about the men. Men have a certain, or people have a certain view around male sexuality. For them it’s like men have sex and ejaculate at the end of sex. And I would say there’s nothing wrong about that. There’s nothing wrong about ejaculation, but it’s many times… It’s disempowering specifically because many times it happens sooner than what a person would want.
Host: So, you said many times it’s disempowering.
Host: OK, I just wanted to clarify that.
Eyal: Yes. there’s two things. 1 out of every 3 men has premature ejaculation, which is coming after 1 or 2 minutes from the moment of penetration, and the average man lasts 5.4 minutes. People think that’s OK, but I think that 5 minutes for intercourse is a little bit bad.
Eyal: It’s not really satisfying for most women. Most women just start to get activated after 10 or 20 minutes of intercourse. And again, I teach no genital sex, and no genital sex is amazing, whole body non-genital is great, but penetrative sex is beautiful. A man needs to last longer not just for his partner, but for himself. To experience these beautiful orgasmic states. The problem that men come too fast actually has an effect on the relationship, on the satisfaction of the partner, but also how they feel with themselves as men. So I’m not just talking about lasting longer, I’m talking about getting to an experience where you don’t have to ejaculate at the end of sex. And it’s not that you’re giving up pleasure and orgasm – men can have multiple orgasms and different kinds of pleasure without ejaculating at the end. Then he is conserving his vital energy, conserving his life force within him. And he becomes less needy of women, less needy of sex. Less needy of instant gratification. I actually have clients tell me that they got off addictions to sugar, addictions to harmful behaviors and processed food and so on once they learned to control their ejaculation.
Host: So Eyal, before we went to break prior to the news, we talked about really being connected to yourself in this way is very grounded. Theer is that deep inner connection so what you’re saying now is that when people actually create that for themselves it can transform your life in many ways.
Host: OK. I’m also thinking about what you said. We do seem to talk about orgasm as though it is the holy grail. It is the goal so to speak…
Host: … when we’re having a sexual experience with a person. or a sensual experience with a person
Host: Yeah. Why do we do that? Is it just a way to say there’s a start point and an end point?
Eyal: Yeah. For many people sex is goal-oriented. They look for the peak. If you notice, I’ve been here for an hour and I haven’t actually said the word “peak”. Cause for me it’s about the state, not the peak. Again, there’s nothing wrong about peaks, but don’t look at the goal – look at the journey. Sex starts from before your partner even arrives, if you’re talking about partner sex. Foreplay, o as I like to call it, loveplay, is sex. every moment is the goal, not just coming together at the end. Western society glorifies coming together, but if you’re coming together for an hour, that’s easier. That’s natural if both of you are in an orgasmic state for an hour. So let go of the idea of the goal in sex. even sometimes let go of the idea of penetration in sex. Penetration is great and not penetration is also great. And see it as something which is planted within the structure of your life. It’s not separate than your lives. Your sexuality is what gives you power, mental power and wellness, and confidence, and creative energy. And spiritual opening as well.
Host: So, I’m wondering Eyal, for people who actually don’t feel as though they are connected, what you just said could be, could feel very hurtful. Someone who feels quite asexual might hear what you’ve just said and feel as though “Well, what am I then? How can I achieve this?” What would you say to that?
Eyal: We’re gonna get into the holistic transformation in a moment…
Host: Yeah, why don’t we do that now?
Eyal: Make sure that I don’t loose the question.
Eyal: I do wanna answer the question within the context. Maybe I’ll just first answer the question, cause I think it’s a really good question because some people… It’s clearly that I say a lot in my workshops. We have workshops 12 hours a day, really intense for people, and I say: “I’m gonna talk a lot about orgasms.” and there might be some women there sitting, and they’ve never had even a clitoral orgasm., let alone g-spot or cervical, or whole body or throat, or nipple, or whatever orgasm. So yeah, there are people who are not connected to their sexuality, feeling asexual. Women who are not lubricated, who are not horny, not interested, don’t have libido and so on.
Host: And men?
Eyal: And men as well. For men sometimes it’s a little bit more technical, so they would rub it and they would get hard and somehow it would work. Women don’t work like that. Women need to be aroused from the heart downwards. Men are, again these whole Tantric theories, men are activated from the genitals upwards, women are are activated from the heart downwards. There is one secret to great sex. If you wana learn the secret to great sex…
Host: Well, I wanna learn the secret to great sex!
Host: Tell me!
Eyal: I would say there’s many secrets to great sex.
Eyal: And the really basic one is – if you wanna have great sex, learn how to have great sex with yourself. Women come to me and they want the perfect man, the perfect lover, the prince on the shining horse or red Ferrari. And I tell them: “Don’t see anybody for 2 months and work on yourself. Make love with yourself.” And this is first of all self-connection and self-love before even the pleasuring and stimulation and everything. Again, I had this woman who thought “I don’t feel I’m worthy to give myself the time to make love with myself.” So it comes down to that. Go beyond cluitoral stimulation. Specifically women when you are self-pleasuring. So again, it’s not bad, but learn how to activate your whole body, and then explore general stimulation as well, because I guess if you wanna make love with a man, also with a woman… You know, woman – woman. Women have penetrative devices and dildos and so on. Because internal stimulation for a woman… A woman craves to feel something inside. When a woman is activated, it’s like she has a yearning, it’s like a sweet pain. It’s like: “I want to be filled”. So make love with yourself, and I’d say arouse yourself And some women would say: “Ah, but I’m not aroused. I’m not horny. I don’t wanna make love with myself “. And I would say: “OK, so learn how to arouse yourself: Learn how to touch your breasts and your body and your hips and your ass and your vagina in a way that arouses you”. And that’s sometimes might take a week for you to build that.
Host: Yeah, because really w should be focusing on every part of our body rather than just the obvious bits so to speak.
Eyal: And I would say, to take that a bit deeper, I would suggest to both men and women to take conscious self-pleasuring practice for at least 10 minutes. And when I say at least in that tone it means 20 or more. But at least 10 minutes. Every. Single. Day. for 30 days. And I would teller that I had women clients that I worked with via Skype on the other side of the world that were non-orgasmic, that would hardly talk about sex, and they became multi-orgasmic. I had women from Christian communities, very very traditional, conservative, writing to me that they’ve read one of my articles and they practiced, and they had g-spot orgasms and female ejaculations for hours. This is possible if you practice.
Host: Practice makes perfect.
Eyal: Practice makes perfect.
Host: And we’re not looking for perfect – we’re just looking for a fabulous experience. That’s the point.
Host: I want you to tell me about the holistic transformation model.
Host: What is it? Where do you use it? Tell us about that.
Eyal: This is a model that I’ve developed because I see that there’s so many disjointed ideas and practices. If you look at a woman’s magazine it’s like: “Five Foods That Will Make You Orgasmic” “Three Positions…” or whatever. And for men as well.
Eyal: yeah, it’s all formulaic. I have a formula as well, but it’s a formula that would actually work. And it sounds like a structure. I use it for sexuality, but I also use it to help people to understand their work problems for example, but let’s talk about sexuality. The five elements of the model are: “Reflect”, “Learn”, “Embody”, “Transform”, and “Receive”.
The first one is “Reflect”. So, as I mentioned earlier, what do you feel about your body, about sexuality, about other people’s sexuality. about your sexual secretions. about pleasure. about your partner’s body. About giving head, about receiving… Some women are like: “Don’t go down on me, it’s disgusting!” and I’m like: “What’s disgusting? It’s beautiful!” so really reflect about your sexual experiences, your sexual history. Don’t go looking for traumas, but see if there’s something… If you were ashamed as a child there might be some residues of that. In my book, in every section there is a question about self-reflection. What do you feel about this? What do you feel about that? What do you feel about your sexual secretions for example?
The next one is “Learn”, because we can learn about sexuality. we can learn about sexual energy and the 10 or 15 or 20 different orgasms that a woman can have, and orgasmic states, and there’s so much that we can learn.
The third one is “Embody”, because we need not just to learn about this as a theory we need to actually practice this.
Eyal: So take the practices and do the self-pleasure and practice every day. Explore different kinds of breath, sound, movement, position and touch. There is fire touch, there is airy touch there is watery touch, and there is ether touch and so on. There’s many different things, ideas to learn and practices to explore. If there’s any problem in my book, it’s that it has too many practices. The book is a practitioner taining basically.So yeah, embody. Embody by yourself embody with your partner as well,. you can embody with multiple partners or you can embody on the dance floor.without actually having sex. I’m a dancer, so for me dance is a practice.
The next one is “Transform”. This practice is going to transform your life, so transform your life in order to support your practice, which means get rid of some clothes that don’t support you as a sexual being. It’s nice to have some comfy clothes to wear around the house, but wear clothes that you really feel great in. If you have friends who are anti-sexual, maybe it’s time to tell goodbye to those friends. Because you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend time with. It’s… I think of activities. It’s getting new activities. So for example, getting rid of porn is an obvious lifestyle change that a person can do. By the way, women watch porn as well. There’s many such things. I sometimes tell women to go to a speaking course. To speak up. Or a singing course, because many times women many times are blocked in their throat area.
And the fifth element, the fifth aspect is “Receive”. So you notice four of these elements are around what you can do for yourself. And by the way men and women.. I work as much with men s with women and a man has to do the work as well. The four first things you do by yourself, the fifth thing is “Receive”. You’re receiving right now. You’re receiving by listening, you’re receiving from a sex coach or a sexual healer as myself. When you come to my workshop for a weekend, you receive a lot. You receive guidance. You have to understand there’s some things that you don’t know and you can learn. There are some people that can teach you. the same way that they can teach you nuclear physics or Spanish or how to play the guitar. Learn how to receive from a coach, from a friend, or from your lover. And also as an energetic thing, you need to learn to give, you need to learn to receive. Both of them are important.
Host: Yeah. There’s a balance there, isn’t it?
Host: In doing those two things and sharing with yourself, sharing with another. OK, I think we are going to go to a break in just a moment. We are going to talk when we come back though really about how all these concepts and this information can be applied to business, cause I know you have a connection and you are working in that space. And also creativity of course. I think I know what you’re gonna say about the connection between sexuality and a healthy sexuality and creativity, but I’m interested to find out how it actually has a role to play in business as well. And also we mentioned that briefly a little while ago.
Host: Welcome back to the health and Wellness Show everybody. You’re listening to Linda Wilson and Eyal Matsliah from Intimatepower.com. We’re gonna talk now Eyal about the connection between sexuality, sensuality and creativity and business so now that you work in the corporate space ass well. This seems to be a conversation that would be quite unusual for corporate space. Can you tell me a little bit about what you’re doing in the corporate space, and the connection between those two things.
Eyal: I’m working with professionals, I’m not actually in corporations yet, although that is my intention. I think that is very much missing from that area. There was a guy called Napoleon Hill who wrote a book called “Think and Grow Rich” 80 years ago. He interviewed the masters of the industry like Carnegie and so on. There’s chapter 11 there in the book, and he writes about sexual transmutation and tells men not to sow their wild oats and nobody understands what he’s talking about.
Eyal: The idea is that, again, we mentioned sexual energy is creative energy. And when a man… By the way when a woman does as well, because clitoral orgasms are very similar to those ejaculatory orgasms for men, they’re losing not just their fluids – they’re losing their creative power and they’re also losing the power to manifest. So a person who controls their sexual energy is better able to manifest. Is better able to create something in the world so that they can create an article, create a painting, create a radio show, create a charity organization … Create a profitable business, create a social movement, create a family. So create a family, not just to create the kids, but to create a really thriving, really conscious, really joyful family.
Host: So you’re talking about being able to harness that energy and then direct it at specific areas.
Eyal: Yeah. so for example, I work with this cellist. This cellist told me that she plays better. She’s more relaxed. She worked with me from Skype, I didn’t touch her. She became multi-oprgasmic with these practices that I share. She became healthy. Some pains in her body dissolved, because when you calculate enough energy… And by the way, when we move the energy, when you don’t move the energy you actually start to get tired and groggy and so on. So when you move the energy you’re able to consciously send it. So you can do a process of consecration or prayer, and you say: “I dedicate my sexual energies to my mission. To my marriage. To my health. To my spiritual practice. To my creativity. To my business.”
And you consciously keep sending this, and whenever you’re doing something it’s like you’re tapping into this place in yourself. through your 2nd chakra you can say, to your genital area, your source of power. You are channeling it to your heart and you’re giving it from that place. You can also do visualization while you’re making love, before you’re making love, after you’re making love. So you visualize… This is kinda a little bit like sex magic. You visualize on the beneficial; always focus on the positive. “I want to have a charity organization with many big backers and a million dollar, 10 million dollar donations every year”. You see this picture in your head and it’s like a seed that you plant while you’re making love consciously, without losing your sexual energies. This is the secret.
Host: You mentioned way back in the beginning of the show where thoughts go energy flows.
Host: Some people would say “Why do you need that addition of the sexual energy?” Is it just a magnification of the intention?
Eyal: Yeah. That’s exactly it. There was the movie The Secret. There was some good ideas there, but positive thinking by itself doesn’t… It’s not the only thing. It’s not bad, but it’s lacking. Having belief in yourself and your self-worth I think is very important. Controlling your sexual energy and also taking action. Positive thinking leads to positive action. It’s not just sitting at home and visualizing that million dollar cheque and hoping that it will come magically through the mail. Sometimes we need to work for that. A person who is sexual, a person who is connected, a person who is expressive… A person whose sex life is a celebration and not a chore. Imagine how would you walk how would you talk, how would you interact with clients, with colleagues, with your boss. I would believe that you would be more influential, more confident as a man, as a woman. Women have sometimes a tough time in the workplace. It’s not like you have to be the Samantha of Sex and the City or whatever.
Eyal: But you will be going around in the office and you will feel connected between your mind , your heart and your vagina. Your yoni as we say in Tantra, your sacred space. And as a man you will feel connected to your genitals, connected to your penis and your balls. There is a source of power. You will feel more confident around both men and women. You will feel more confident about the gift that you’re sharing. Dare to be you. Dare to be different. Dare to be whoever you’re supposed to be and do what you’re supposed to do here in this world.
Host: I think too that, I’m just having a vision of men and women walking around truly connected to themselves. And as we discussed earlier in the show, when it’s out there in the open it doesn’t have to go underground and be subverted into something…
Host: … that is negative and dark. If we were just able through that connection to ourselves to shrug off body shame for example, how much as you say, what would change in your walk? What would change in your talk? What would change in the level of communication that you will achieve with people? I’ve got this great image in my mind, and it’s really powerful! Just thinking about that image of us all walking around with that clarity.
Eyal: Yeah. I’ve seen women that didn’t adhere to the western beauty standards. They were either what the west would consider fat, or what the west would consider skinny. Tiny breasts, tiny ass… But those women were connected to their sexual power. So when they walked in the street I would sometimes… By the way, I don’t just look at women, I look at men looking at women. So you would see that kind of attention that these women would get. On the other hand, you see women who actually adhere to look like a western model standard, but they actually don’t feel very good with themselves. They keep finding problems with themselves. And those women are less attractive, or they’re just attractive on a shallow level.
So when a woman is more connected to sexual power, to orgasmic power, she radiates. And the most amazing thing about a woman is her light. The fact that she radiates. And a man it’s like, cultivate your presence. And once as a man you have presence and you’re not all over the place, you’ll be more attractive to women regardless of how you look. I’m not exactly Tom Cruise. I’m short like him, this is why I like Tom Cruise, and I’m able to be more attractive and more successful with women that similar men that look similar to me because I’m confident with my sexual energy. I’m able to channel my sexual energy and I don’t need sex. I’m in a very beautiful position that I’m happy to have sex, but I don’t need sex. I don’t need women. And a woman can feel this.
Host: Yeah. And I think confidence and charisma is very attractive, isn’t it? So we take ourselves through that practice, it’s just another way, isn’t it? But a very fundamental and foundational way to actually achieve those things.
Host: OK, so let me just draw the line then. What you’re saying is that if we come from that foundational knowing and grounding in our bodies, then our ability to be creative, ability to manifest, and ability to connect to others is amplified?
Host: And that’s the connection to really positive sexuality and business or work and such. You’re manifesting on so many different levels in an amplified way.
Eyal: Yeah. I slightly deviated from the question earlier, you know, how is that connected to business…
Host: It happens.
Eyal: But I am a sexual educator and sexual coach and so on, but my bigger work is about empowerment and helping people to express their full potential. I have a blog-post and an audio recording which is called” It’s Not about You, So Start Sharing Your Gift” that you can find on the resources section of my website. It’s really about that. It’s not just about having hours of orgasm and sex with plenty of different people, it’s about how you use that in order to share your gift. In order to express your talents. In order to help other people, and also in order to make money from that. I think there’s a trinity of do what you love, help others and make money from that, which is sometimes overlooked. The sexuality is a fuel for that. This is really what my greater work is about.
Host: Yeah, because we’ve talked a lot about sexuality, but I know that’s only kind of one part of what you focus on and and this is where the creativity and business… Unleash your Mojo which is your tag-on.
Host: I think we’ve got just a little bit of time for you to discuss that before we have to go to a break. So Unleash Your Mojo, tell me about… is that the tag-on that you use?
Eyal: It’s used in order to unleash your full potential.
Host: Your full potential, yes
Eyal: So I was working with this woman, and she came to me, she said she felt like a child. We worked on her sexuality, we worked on her femininity. we worked on her being a woman and no a child. This woman is an actress. She was talking about having a one woman show. And then I came to her and I said: “Why don’t you do the one woman show?” And she said: “Yeah, in six months I will start. and I will do this in a year”. I said: “Why don’t you do it in 2 weeks?” And she freaked out. And I’ve proven to her that shae can do it and she actually did it. She had a premiere. She worked tirelessly for 2 weeks, she had an amazing 2 weeks. A few months later she did a few more shows with more people in a better venue and so on. And also this is an example, I have a few examples of that of people who got more clients because they calculated their sexual energy in their belief and love in themselves. This is why this work is really holistic and really integrated. So work on your sexuality, express your creativity, help other people and make money from that.
Host: Yeah. Because we are not talking about using sexuality to create sexual relationships with people necessarily. we’re talking about using it as a source of power.
Host: And I just wanna clarify that because there might be some people that just tuned in and may not really get the full benefit of our discussion. OK, we are going to a break, back with you in just a moment.
Host: Welcome back to the Health and Wellness Show everybody. We’re trying to work hard to get as much information into the last 10 minutes or so as we possibly can about all things sensuality, sexuality health and wellness. With my guest this afternoon, Eyal. Eyal I want you to talk a little bit, I know you’ve got a particular program coming up that’s specifically for men in terms of their sexual health. But tell us a bt about that.
Eyal: We talked a lot about women, Orgasm Unleashed… So I did this, I released this book, and then I was like: “OK, but what’s with the men?” I’ve been practicing ejaculation control for 15, 16, 17 years, something like that and with Tantra for 11 years, and I found that there’s so much misleading information and pieces of information all over the internet. “Squeeze this”,” think about football”, “breathe like that”… Again, the statistics show that it doesn’t work. 1 out of every 3 men has premature ejaculation and the average is 5.4 minutes, not really satisfying. So I created a structure. I created again another model to help men And the model is contained in the program I have.
So there’s a free training. If you go to my website there’s a tab called I can help, there’s a frejaculation control training for men. There’s a few videos, a lecture, PDFs and so on that the guys can listen to. And then there’s also the paid program. The paid program is called “How to Last Longer in 30 Days”. I call it How to Last Longer, but it’s really How to Change Your Life in 30 days. Because, as I mentioned, people’s lives change from practice. There is practices you can do by yourself, practices you do with your partner. There’s also a video to show to your partner because many women insist that men ejaculate because they’re not educated, they don’t know exactly what are the repercussions, the effects on them. And it actually hurts them. Ladies, when your guy is ejaculating, it actually hurts you in some way. I can quickly mention the steps of the model just to…
Eyal: OK. So ask yourself why you’re ejaculating and why it would serve you not to. Feel how aroused you are, sotp when you are too aroused, move the energy and then transform your life. Again, I go into much more on this in the free training and in the paid training as well.
Host: And so much of this is… Well it’s all about that consciousness, isn’t it? So harnessing the thoughts, the sensations the feelings and educating yourself along the way.
Eyal: So that’s ejaculationcontrolprogram.com. (where you can) find all the information about that.
Host: OK, but they can also ifnd that through intimatepower.com?
Eyal: Sure, through intimatepower. By the way, it is INTIMATE power because some people hear internet power. So intimate like intimacy.
Host: Yeah, intimate power.
Eyal: Intimate power.
Host: Alright. So, one of the other things that I just wanted to mention again for listeners is Orgasm Unleashed: Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power is available through the website, and also on Amazon. there’s a lot of reviews there Eyal.
Host: I’ve noticed so it’s really gathering some momentum as well. You’ve mentioned that there’s a lot of leading women in this area who have commented about this information in the book being really valuable for people. Would you recommend men read this book as well?
Eyal: Yeah. The book is for women and those who love them. So I’m basically being what we call a sexual healer, a sexual coach and I’m coming back to the field. There was an article in The Age about a colleague of mine from the same school, and I”m coming back to sexual healing and what I actually call sexual activation. So I went from sexual healing to activation cause I prefer to activate somebody, not to heal them. I’ll be doing workshops around specifically Yoni massage. It’s the art of not just vaginal touch, but how to touch and arouse a woman, all of her body, and to keep her in a long orgasmic state, sometimes for an hour. Everybody who’s listening… Most people, the vast majority of people can give it and receive it, and I’m also teaching practitioners. Some of my target clients are already practitioners and I want to share the work that I’m doing cause I know this is unique. I’ve just held this similar workshop in Thailand to practitioners who’ve been doing it for a while and that’s also the feedback that I got. I’m very passionate not just about working with individuals, but working with practitioners and showing them what’s possible.
Host: People can find out about that on your site as well?
Eyal: There’s no information about that yet, but we’re going to have an event. And also if you’re around melbourne, or anywhere around Australia because people do fly into Sydney, I have a workshop called Unleash Your Pleasure Power. It’s in the middle of September in melbourne. So if you sign up to basically anything on my website, if you put your email, you will be added to my mailing list and then you will receive more information about that. And also if you have questions. By the way, I really respect me being here and you guys, whoever you are, listening to this. So send me an email if there’s any questions I’ll answer you and send you a link to relevant articles.
Host: So Eyal, can I give out the email address or would you prefer to do that through the website?
Eyal: Through the website, yeah. That would be the best.
Host: Through the website, OK great. So Intimatepower.com is the website that you would go to and you can put your name down there and then you’ll receive all the updates. And is that the next thing? It sounds to me like you are still very much creating yourself as you bring a lot of this into programs and courses and that kind of thing as well.
Eyal: yeah. I’m unleashing my own potential as well, and I’m constantly discovering what I’m passionate about. And really it’s like I wanna be a DJ as well and I might start doing that I’m a dancer and I’m a cook as well. I’m a photographer as well. I speak many languages as well. This life is so amazing! Right now sexuality is the focus and creativity and business they are.. it’s feeling that as well, so yeah…
Host: Eyal tell me, what will men learn by reading that book?
Eyal: The Orgasm unleashed book?
Eyal: The fact that women are not men. I have a whole new other teaching as well about helping men become leaders, become masculine, become kings and warriors. And about women embracing their softness. There’s another conversation how Australian and western women are trying to be tough And it’s OK to be successful, It’s OK to kick ass in the office, but they forget to be soft.
Host: Are you talking about femininity?
Eyal: Yes. So really discovering…
Host: That feminine power.
Eyal: … femininity and power as well. So yeah, the next conversation will be about…
Eyal: … gender…
Host: So many things that we could… So many ways that we could go through the vastness I guess of your experience. And we are running out of time however. So I want to thank you very much for your time Eyal. It’s lovely to have someone in the studio with me It always feels more connected.
Host: I really appreciate your openness and your discussion around this it’s not a conversation that we have often…
Host: … and I would really like to encourage people out there to get in touch with you, have a look at the website, download some of the information, maybe sign up and find out about some of your classes if you are interested. So thank you so much for your time and for coming in this afternoon.
Eyal: Thank you. And I wanna also applaud you for having this conversation, cause some radio station would be like:”Oh no, this is too touchy, too much for us.” so both you Linda personally and also Casey Radio and the listeners. Thank you whoever you are listening for 1 or 2 hours. I really applaud you for that. Thank you very much for allowing me to share my passion and my life mission with you.
Host: fantastic, our pleasure. OK everybody, just a reminder that Wednesday is walk day with me and you can join me at the Cranbourne gardens at 9:30 in the main car park. Myself and a group of people have a walk where we get connected to ourselves and to nature and to each other, and talk about all things life, the universe and everything. You are very welcome to join us and we will be exercising. It’s great for prams, no puppy dogs unfortunately., but certainly bring your four wheel drive prams if you have them. I would love to meet you there. That’s the end of the show again on this beautiful Tuesday and I hope you have enjoyed the show.