About 40% of men aged 40 are affected by Erectile dysfunction(1).
ED medication merely improves the condition temporarily, while creating yet another addiction with it’s obvious physiological, mental and emotional side effects. The men suffering from ED are still useless without popping the pill before the act.
The real long-term solutions to ED are a combination of as many as possible from the following :
- Stop using Viagra. Yes, I know, it works, but it’s not a real solution. You want to be ready for action at any moment and not rely on chemicals, don’t you? Besides it also has side effects and a risk of heart attack
- Quit porn — Porn is proven to cause PE and ED and is F*ing up your relationship with your partner and the opposite sex as a whole. Go cold turkey. Install an internet blocker if you need to.
- Present moment awareness — don’t visualize/imagine/fantasize during self pleasuring or sex. Instead, focus on the present moment, your body and your partner’s body
- Sensate focus — Self-pleasure, even without an erection, in a way that brings sensation, pleasure and awareness to your genitals and the rest of your body. Minimize friction. Hold your penis and just feel it. Learn to arouse yourself using softer and slower movements. Bring awareness to your cock throughout the day. Consider a daily 20–40 minute self-pleasuring practice for 1–2 months.
- Minimize Ejaculation — When you do manage to ejaculate, you lose erection and get tired, don’t you? So avoid ejaculation for 4–8 weeks and see how you improve not only your erections but also your focus, stamina and attractiveness. This Free program is a great start to learn how to build your sexual energy and last longer.
- Edging — If you do manage to get erect by yourself, go to the edge of ejaculation, and ease off. Wait a minute or so and go to the edge again. Keep going for 20–40 minutes every day for a month. Do NOT ejaculate because that depelets your sexual energy. Instead, avoid ejaculation so you keep building your energy.
- Breathe — Babies breath to their belly. But as they grow up, most people breathe UP to their chest and shoulders which cuts off their life force. So breathe DOWN to your belly and feel how your belly and pelvic floor expands. Breathe deep but relaxed, and once you inhale, instead of holding the breath, just allow the breath to fall out. Consider a 5–10 minute practice every morning.
- Relax — both ED and PE partly stem from stress. Relax your mind through daily meditation and learn to relax before and during the act. Reduce or remove causes of stress in your life.
- Foreplay — Foreplay isn’t just meant for the woman. Act on what turns you on, as long as it’s ok with your partner.
- Nutrition, Exercise and Lifestyle — See a naturopath to sort out your diet, an osteopath to sort out your body (yes, neck and back pains can hurt your mojo !), do some yoga and gentle exercise that activates all your body, and specifically yoga positions that bring energy and awareness to your genitals and hips. Decrease time sitting at a desk and/or staring at screens. Spend time in nature a few times a week.
- Rest and sleep — If you are under-slept, this also hurts your sex drive and erections. Get to sleep before 11pm and consider afternoon naps if you get lethargic. Record your sleep using an app like SleepTalk and/or spend a night at a sleep lab to make sure you don’t suffer from sleep apnea (repeatedly having your breath stop during sleep, sometimes hundreds of times), as this also hurts your erections. If so, consider using a CPAP machine (not so “natural” but still very important).
- Re-sensitize — Stop numbing yourself through alcohol, tobacco, weed, food, sugar, social media, television, work or whatever your drug is. The less numb you are, the more sensitive you get and then the more aroused you become.
- Receive a healing Lingham (Penis) massage and make sure you do not ejaculate at the end. Get this online course that teaches your current or future partner how to give you this beautiful gift.
- Therapy and Counseling — The causes for ED are partly psychological — depression, fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, unworthiness, self-hate, etc. See a counselor for a few months to dissolve these issues
Play with some of these practices and share your progress and questions with me — i’d love to know how it’s serving you. i’m at [email protected] .
For resources, support and a vibrant community of brothers on this journey, join the “sexual empowerment for men” movement and group here:
To receive my guidance and support in private, book a coaching session here.