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Forge Your Life interview with Richard Phu

I was just interviewed on ‘Forge your life’ with Richard Phu. We talked about how I started with my journey into sexuality, why sexual empowerment is important, and how people are dealing with sexual issues and how it is affecting their lives.

 
You can listen here, and read full transcript below:

Full Transcript:

 

Host: Alright guys, welcome back to another episode of the Forge Your Life podcast here with your host Richard Phu today from RichardPhu.com and The Alternate Man, and today I’m really excited to have this guy on because he’s gonna talk about something that’s forbidden, Something that’s taboo. His name is Eyal. He founded Intimate Power. He’s the founder of Intimatepower.com. He’s a sexuality expert. He’s a Tantra teacher. He’s also a human potential coach, and this is why I’m excited to have him on the show, cause when I was first introduced to Eyal I was like: “I’m not sure he’s gonna be good for the show. I’m not sure we wanna go there”. But you know what, I think a reason why I connected with him and there’s a reason why I wanna bring him on the show because I think that he’s gonna talk about some amazing stuff about sexuality, ejaculation control, so if you’re listening with kids on this show right now, I want you to pause this, i want you to download this and get your earbuds in your ears because we’re gonna share some amazing secrets here, and I’m really excited to have Eyal on the show. So please welcome Eyal onto the show! Eyal, good to have you on brother!

 

Eyal: Yay! Thank you very much for having me. Thank you for the introduction.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: Yeah. This is powerful stuff. And I would actually say unless it’s really small kids, if it’s anybody young, teenager and above, let them listen.

 

Host: Alright…

 

Eyal: I think people can actually.. I mean even younger kids sometimes can listen to stuff around sexuality. And they hear, they listen around, they listen when you don’t notice.

 

Host: [laughs] Exactly!

 

Eyal: That’s my take on sexual education.

 

Host: I love that man, and I think it’s important too cause… It’s so funny… I wanna share a quick story with you Exal if it’s cool. There’s a funny moment. Just before I left for Singapore and my dad… We never, you know Asian family, we never really talk about anything, right. And he said this one thing, and it’s gonna be hilarious. So he says: Richie, you’re gonna go to Singapore. You’re gonna go maybe Vietnam, maybe Malaysia, Thailand… All these countries have high levels of prostitution. And so if you’re gonna do anything, do it safely!” And I was like: “What the hell dad!” Never have we ever had any conversation about that and so I think the earlier we can have conversations about sexuality and all these things, sex and stuff with kids I think it’s better so then it avoids awkward moments just like this one that I had. So Eyal, for the people who don’t know about you and your work at Intimatepower, could you share a bit more about yourself and how you got into this space?

 

Eyal: Where do I start? People ask me: “How long have you been doing this work?” In some ways I’ve been doing this work all my life. From a very young age I was very sexual and very interested in sexuality. I was very much interested in helping people. I was also an innovator, like a young scientist kind of thing. I was also very entrepreneurial. I had all of this stuff that was very strong and I was equally passionate about all of this. And also a lot of interest in spirituality and occultism and magic and and stuff.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: So regarding sexuality, for example, I didn’t watch porn. And because I didn’t watch porn I didn’t get brainwashed like other people get brainwashed to what you’re supposed to do and how women are supposed to look like and so on. I also, there’s a trigger warning, I also watched a very traumatic scene without going into too much details, and I wasn’t able to help that woman in that situation. In some ways I closed down my sexuality cause I felt “Ah, this is how men are and this is what men do to women. I don’t want to be sexual”. I became the nice guy. For years I was the nice guy and I was helping women as friends, I was helping women… Looking back it’s like I was a counselor and a healer even when I was 17 or 18. But the problem was that I suppressed my masculinity. I suppressed my sexuality and I became frustrated. Cause I was always the nice guy. “Oh Eyal, you’re so nice, you’re so interesting I wanna be friends”. And they really wanted to be friends with me. And I was like: “I wanna have sex.”

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: Yeah, “I like you girl / woman, you’re great, but…” So for me, my path has been one that started from a trauma in some ways that I experienced and it turned me into this nice guy and it allowed me to be very sensitive to women. And afterwards it’s my journey to embrace both my masculinity and femininity. I have a lot more to say about that, or we can talk more about the sexuality stuff.

 

Host: Yeah I’d love to go into understanding more like… from shifting when you experienced that trauma you experienced that experience, and then it shifted you into a nice man. And how did you shift back to becoming where you’re at now? What made that shift happen?

 

Eyal: I’m aware that some people might be confused because I’m talking about sexuality, entrepreneurship and spirituality, but that’s one of my messages ad we can get to that in a moment. But I had a few really big shifts in my life I have a very unconventional life. I lived for 7 years on a tropical island in an alternative community. And traveled around the world and stayed in amazing places and made love with lots of beautiful women and had lots of workshops… Very different than college – career – marriage – white picket fuuckin’ fence and…

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: Retirement.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: One of the biggest things that I look back is that I was 25 years old, I was in corporate, I was doing information security. I was very successful working for a mobile operator, mobile phone operator. And then I had this conversation with a friend and said: “Oh, I never went traveling. I went straight into business.”. I opened my own business, I went into corporate… And I just bought an apartment in the middle of [Unintelligible] Think about it like… It’s like the middle of Fitzroy.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: Middle of the hippest part of the city. And it’s a beautiful apartment, I was about to move into it. And then I talked with my friend and said: “If I move into the apartment I will not be able to go traveling”. Cause I was afraid of mortgage and stuff.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: It’s like in the stories, the movies. I did not sleep. I literally was tossing and turning the whole night. And I woke up the next morning I decided not to go into the apartment and instead rent it out and go traveling.

 

Host: Yup.

 

Eyal: I thought that I’d go traveling for 2 months leave without pay from my really good job. After 2 months I asked them for another month, so after 3 months I called them and I said: “I’m not coming back”. I was so happy not to go back, and that was in Thailand.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: So for me it was letting go of the corporate career, letting go of everything that I had and choosing, discovering a new life, and that was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

 

Host: Wow! How did you discover this in your life? What did you go in and study so that you can then share your experience now and be a sexuality expert?

 

Eyal: In the beginning I was in this party island called Ko Pha Nganin thailand where the full moon parties are and i went to like 20 full moon parties.

 

Host: Oh wow.

 

Eyal: One of the thing I was also turning my hobbies and passions into income streams, we can talk about it later or another time, but I was also exploring sexuality. I was a little bit of a shy boy, I was not sure of myself, but I was very sexual and I had all of this suppressing my masculine thing, so I consciously tried to not just to have sex with women, but to have meaningful sex with women. And then I discovered this Tantric school. Tantra is not just about sex, but there was a Tantric sexuality workshop in that school. And I attended that workshop and everything that i was doing before that fell into place. Cause I was practicing ejaculation control before, I was doing some of the practices without ever having studied them. That was in the days before internet. And when I went to this workshop, they gave me a structure and they gave me an understanding of how sexuality can be. How beautiful sexuality is. The fact that we can use sexuality as a force to go deeper and further in our life to become more confident, to become more empowered, to become healthier. To become more influential, to be able to help more people. Then I moved into that community, so I went from the party side of the island to the spiritual side of the island. Spiritual and sexual and alternative. And then I was having a lot of what I call research…

 

Host: [laughs]

 

Eyal: Making love a lot.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: A lot means 10 to 20 hours a week. That’s a lot. So part of the practice was sexuality practice and obviously hours and hours of yoga and workshops and meditation retreats. It’s not just one big orgy, that’s the thing to understand. It’s conscious sexuality.

 

Host: OK.

 

Eyal: Because I was practicing ejaculation control I sometimes had to pull out when I was making love with a woman. Then I started… I was pleasuring her in other ways. Then women started telling me: “You’re really healing me, you should offer this as a service to others”. I was like: “Oh no! I’m not good enough! I don’t have a degree, I don’t have a certificate. I haven’t been doing it or 30 years like my teacher And this and that…” And then a friend of mine told me: “Eyal, you’re already doing it so just acknowledge you’re doing it so just do it.”

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: From the beginning I started offering sexual healing and it was amazing. It was just… I learned so much by holding sessions, and I progressed so much in sexuality and in healing and in coaching. And then people started asking me for advice, so I started doing also non-sexual coaching, verbal coaching, and started holding workshops, came to Australia, established a Tantra school here, because really successful, and then continued developing my own ideas and my own practices, and published a book, where’s the book… Published a book last year which is called Orgasm Unleashed: Your Guide to Pleasure, Healing and Power.

 

Host: Wow.

 

Eyal: It is an orgasm book for women that helps them become multi-orgasmic by themselves and later share that with their partner. So they don’t need to come to see me. They read the book and it helps them a lot.

 

Host: Yeah, beautiful. And Eyal, for the average person like myself…

 

Eyal: You’re not average!

 

Host: [laughs] I love it. But for people listening, when you say sexual healing, I don’t understand what that means. A part of me sits there and goes: “Is this a term that you just use so that you can have more sex?” explain to the average person what does it actually mean to be sexually healed. What goes on in there? I’m curious.

 

Eyal: Thank you for asking for that clarity. It’s a good point and sometimes as professionals we forget that for us things which are very basic other people don’t know, so if I go into accounting and bookkeeping I have no idea about that stuff.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: I’ll give you an example. Imagine that you have a car. The car usually has 4 wheels, so if you have a truck, somebody has a truck so the truck is, how do you call it, an 18 wheeler or something. Somebody who doesn’t know about cars would say: “There’s 18 wheels, if one of them doesn’t have air it’s OK”, but anybody who’s a professional mechanic would understand that if you’re missing air in one of your wheels, the drive is not smooth.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: It affects your speed, it affects your steering. It affects how far you can go. It affects your fuel consumption. It affects how comfortable the ride is. Somebody is listening now and saying: “How is that related to sexuality?” People come to me and they say: “My sexuality is great”. Sorry, “My life is great, everything is great, I just have a problem with my sexuality”. And after a few minutes of talking, of diving deeper into how their life is going on, we understand that actually their sexuality is affecting all of the areas of their life. It affects their relationship obviously, it affects their confidence as a man or as a woman, It affects the interactions with other men and women. It affects their job performance, their creativity. It affects their well-being and their level of energy. People who have sexul issues also have anergy issues.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: Or they compensate it to behaviors related to drugs, related to alcohol, related to other unhealthy habits. Even if somebody is seemingly successful, internally they know that they are not where they want to be because they have this deep, dark secret.

 

Host: Yes.

 

Eyal: This is one of the wheels that we are driving on, and people pretend like it’s not important. People say like: “Oh, everything else in life is OK”, but no, if you’re missing air in the tire of your sexuality, it really affects your ride. It really affects all other aspects of your life. Does that make sense?

 

Host: Yeah. I get you. So by creating that self-awareness this doesn’t have to be in the darkness anymore. You don’t have to keep suppressing and hiding this.

 

Eyal: Yeah

 

Host: “At least the rest of my life is awesome”

 

Eyal: Yeah, and it is, but I would sometimes ask people: “What is the deepest, darkest secret of your life?” Or what are some of them. And for most people their issues are around their sexuality. I meet people who are creatively amazing, who are professionally amazing, who are great people and have a great heart, but the have issues. There’s a few main issues that I see with people. One of them is they don’t love themselves and they don’t accept themselves. I talk a lot about sexuality, but self… We talk about making love, so loving yourself and accepting yourself is the basis for this. Accepting your sexuality is an important part of life that integrates with all other parts of life is another aspect. And the 3rd aspect is understanding that you have a gift, and you have many gifts and it is your mission to express them. All of this stuff is related to each other. I have a 5-step process that I’m happy to share with you quickly to help people to make that realization and take the step.

 

Host: Yeah, please do.

 

Eyal: Thank you. Many people when they try to change something in life, they look at tactics. “My sexuality is not so good, so I’m gonna get a vibrator”. “My sales are not so good, so I’m gonna put flyers around town.” You look at women’s magazines it’s like: “3 Positions that Would Help You Have a g-spot Orgasm”. And that doesn’t work. I’m trying to give people a structure that they can follow in order to transform themselves. The structure is called the Integrated Transformation Model. The first step of the model is, there’s five steps, and the first step is “Reflect”. So reflect where you are at. What do you feel about sexuality? How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about your cock and your balls? How do you feel about your pussy? Are you triggered now that I said pussy? Some people are like: “Oh, don’t use this word it sounds bad”, I’m like “Why does it sound bad?”

 

Host: I just woke up everyone that was listening. [laughs]

 

Eyal: Sorry?

 

I got their attention, like: “Huu? Uh? What?” [laughs]

 

Eyal: Yeah, I think pussy is a beautiful word. And how do you feel about sexual expressions? Are you the kind of person who makes sounds or doesn’t make sounds in bed? And if you are making sounds by the way, did your neighbours ever complain and did they ever knock on the door and did they ever throw stuff at your window? Did you ever… I had this stuff happen. So that’s what I mean by being loud. How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about your genitals? Somebody is going down on you, if you’re a woman and somebody is going down on you, do you stop them? Do you close the lights? Do you have any sexual trauma? Do you have anything, not even like a big trauma, but any stuff that is related to sexuality or any judgement or criticism that you have over other people’s sexuality. Cause maybe you call other people a slut, or a curve (probably means the slavic term for prostitute, kurva), or “Ah, they’re having too much sex!” It reflects on your own value and your own connection to yourself.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: In the book by the way, there’s in the beginning of every topic there are questions that help women reflect on each of those topics. So those questions that let them understand where they are. The 2nd thing is to “Learn”. So before you go into doing, there’s stuff that you can learn. Learn about the different kinds of bodily orgasms. You can learn about different orgasmic states and what is the orgasmic continuum. Men can learn about sexual energy and ejaculation control. and there’s another model for the 5 steps to control your ejaculation, so there’s a lot of beautiful theory in there. Instead of jumping into the practice and trying to put one leg in the air so something gets… whatever. Or taking a pill, it’s all of this stuff. Or men use creams and pills and sprays and stuff that are just crutches. Instead of that learn about that.

The third aspect is “Embody”. Which means, I teach people, my private clients in workshops, I teach them practices that they can do by themselves or they can do with their partner. I teach them practices that they can do outside of sex even if they are single, and inside of sex if they have a relationship.

There’s other parts of the model but just to mention them briefly, the 4th one is “Transform”, which means these practices are going to transform your life so transform your life to support these practices. It’s not just about what you do in sex, it’s other stuff that you do. And the 5th one is “Receive”. The first four are stuff you do by yourself, and the 5th one is receiving guidance and help from a coach, from a workshop. So yeah, this is just the tip of the iceberg of this particular model.

 

Host: Wow man! Interesting. I love it, I love your explanation on what sexual healing is cause it’s very important that a lot of people, and this is why I wanted you on the show, cause this is taboo stuff. It still is taboo stuff, people don’t wanna talk about it. But people wanna listen about it, they wanna learn about it the world of sources we go to, Cosmopolitan magazine, or we go to Men’s Health or something like that which is all so fallacious stuff that’s not actually gonna help you sort out your stuff, it’s just to get people to actually buy the magazine.

 

Eyal: Yeah.

 

Host: That’s why I wanted to get you on the show and… So, let’s talk about this, let’s move over to the other part that we wanna talk about which is about ejaculation control.

 

Eyal: Yeah.

 

Host: So there’s a lot of myths here, right Eyal? There’s a lot of myths, and I never know what’s the truth. You read a magazine, you read online it’s like: “Yeah, do as much as you want, you’re fine!” or: “If you do too much it’s gonna hurt you!” From your scientific studies, from your research that you’ve done for yourself, what have you concluded? Should… If a guy… How often? What is the benefit of actually controlling it? You said you were doing 10 to 20 hours of sex a week when you were researching, I mean for some guys, even myself, I’m like: “Man, I never knew we could go an hour!”, and what interests me is how do you control that, and what are the benefits of controlling it?

 

Eyal: I developed a model for that as well.

 

Host: [laughs] Yeah.

 

Eyal: I like models because I find that a lot of stuff is very new age-y and fluffy, and I am a bit new age-y as well, but I bring my corporate background, I bring coaching and personal development background into this stuff, and I wanna make it really easy and relatable to people. I have something called “The 5-step Model to Control Your Ejaculation”. The first step of the model is “Why”. Like Simon Sinek says, start with why. And many people don’t have a strong why and then that’s why they don’t manage to last longer, they don’t actually manage to go deeper in this practice. There’s some statistics that I wanna quote. So one of them is that 1 out of every 3 men experiences premature ejaculation in some time in their life, this is according to the MAYO clinic. I have the sources…. So 1 out of 3 is quite serious, but people are not actually aware of the bigger problem, because the average for the western man from penetration to ejaculation is 5.4 minutes.

 

Host: Right, yeah.

 

Eyal: Let me say that again – the average time that it takes a man to come is 5.4 fucking minutes. Sorry to use profanity, but I’m saying it as an exclamation cause I think that is bad, I think that is sad. Women can not experience deep, meaningful orgasms after 5.4 minutes of penetration. And it’s not just about the orgasm, it’s about the connection between you and your partner. If a man wants to really connect to his partner, excuse me, I’m very heteronormative, so make the translations as you wish, but in 5 minutes there’s not so much connection. There is some connection, but let’s say if you last for an hour inside your partner, an hour is not just 12 times 5 minutes, there’s a phase shift. The experience totally changes and deepens and gets new dimensions. This is the beginning of the why, to understand that it affects your pleasure. You become multi-orgasmic men when you practice this. You share more love with your partner, you’re able to pleasure your partner as well, and you are able to make your partner orgasm for hours There’s three aspects – “Pleasure, “Love” and “Power”. The aspect of power means that you gain a lot of personal power from that. And it’s not power over. It’s not like: “Oh, I’m powerful, so she is weak”.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: No, I’m powerful, so I’m able to lift her into her what the tantrics would call shakti, into her feminine expression. Into her creativity, into her softness. Into her love. And I’m also able to take this power and put it into my creativity. I’m able to put it into my business, into making money, into serving other people. I have a half-hour, 45 (minute) presentation of that in the online training that I have and this is one of the big missing pieces from ejaculation control.

Myself and my students and colleagues that have practiced that say that this practice is changing their life. And the implications and the effects really expand like a pebble in a pool. It can hit somewhere in the pool, but it goes all over the pool. So it really affects all aspects of your life. I have sharing from clients who said that they are able to give up sugar and other addictive behaviors because they are able to control their very strong urge to ejaculate. The urge to ejcaulate is natural and when you are able to control that natural urge, neither to last longer or to even go for days or even weeks without, you attain self-mastery. As I say – sexual mastery is life-mastery.

 

Host: Yeah. I love it man.

 

Eyal: So obviously there’s much more, but that’s the…

 

Host: Yeah. So the first phase is the why, understanding why that is. And then what else? What else keeps people from actually controlling it better?

 

Eyal: The why is very important, and the stronger your why, the longer you last. If I would tell you that you lose a month of your life let’s say every time you ejaculate, and you lose a month in your life which means you might not see your granddaughter’s wedding, that gives you another reason not to ejaculate. If I say that you’ll lose an hour of your hourly wage, or a day of your wage or whatever every time you ejaculate, maybe that gives you a reason. And by the way, women say that men don’t just fall asleep and we know about this. You know, men fall asleep after they ejaculate, but they lose their quality of connection with the partner even if they stay awake. If I’m telling you that you’re hurting your partner every time you ejaculate, would you still choose to ejaculate? Would you have a strong why to at least delay it?

Ah yeah, but I wanted to mention… So, premature ejacullation people say that it’s ejaculating after less than a minute or after less than 2 minutes. I say that premature ejaculation is coming before you and your partner choose to. Premature ejaculation is coming before both you and your partner choose to. And according to this definition, 99% of men in the world have that. I’m not saying that ejaculation is bad, I’m not a priest who says that it’s evil. Ejacullation is great, and sexuality is great and sacred. But you have to understand what it does to you and you have to understand that there is an alternative. The alternative is to become a multi-orgasmic man, and you’re not sacrificing your pleasure – you’re gaining more pleasure by ejaculating less. You are feeling more love and more power. To continue and answer your question, the other parts of the model are… So the first one is “Why” and the next one is “Feel how aroused you are”.

 

Host: Right.

 

Eyal: That’s where the point of no return comes into play and that’s the point where you would go over the point you would ejaculate. There are specific signs and specific ways to recognize that and also to practice that. This is not something that I’m gonna give you something and that would be the one tip and it will change…

 

Host: [laughs]

 

Eyal: It takes practice.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: We are like sexual ninjas and samurais. It takes some practice, but once you are able to practice that, you will be able to master it forever. So you don’t need the spray, you don’t need the pill, you don’t need to wear two-three condoms one on top of the other. When I say you, I’m talking to whoever is listening.

 

Host: [laughs] I know you’re not specifically talking to me I get you. The second part is figure out where is your point and then you don’t go over that point, right?

 

Eyal: Yeah. It’s understanding that that you ejaculate when you’re too aroused so Don’t. Get. Too. Aroused. It sounds really facetious, but many men miss that. So the next one is… So the first why and then feel…

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: And then “Stop”. Don’t just feel how aroused you are – make sure that you pause, stop or you pull out when you are too aroused. Guys, news flash, it is legal to pull out in the middle of sex. You don’t have to stay inside for the whole of the what is usually 5.4 minutes. One of the first tips, one of the really big tips I can give to people, to men listening is if you usually last for 5 minutes, be inside for 2 minutes and then pull out and stay outside for a minute or two and then come back in . Then again 2 minutes and then go outside and stay outside for another 2 minutes. By the 3rd or 4th time you do it you’re already at 6 or 8 minutes inside if you put all the time together.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: It’s OK to pull out. So this is the aspect of stop when you’re too aroused. And the next aspect which is really one of the missing pieces from a lot of these teachings, and I found books and programs and talked with people, and honestly even sexual teachers who claim to teach it don’t have any idea how actually to do it. And the big missing piece is to move the energy.

 

Host: OK.

 

Eyal: This is what most people don’t do. Some people recognize the point of no return and maybe they even pause and they pull out, but they don’t know how to move the energy.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: If you’re listening to this and say: “Oh, all this whole energy stuff, I don’t know if it exists”, you don’t have to believe in that, I’m just asking you do you feel that your genital area is charged? Do you get what’s called blue balls? Do you feel heavy around that? Do you feel like your cock is about to explode? That is all expressions of energy, and that energy can be moved. When you move it, first of all you start to express different kinds of experience, different kinds of pleasure state and orgasm state. And even for men there’s many different kinds of pleasure and orgasm states, you are able to pleasure your parter because you’re not losing your energy, you’re not losing your pleasure, you’re able to share that pleasure with your partner. Also after sex you are able to put this into your creativity, into your mission. So really the aspect of moving the energy is huge. In my online program that’s one of the biggest parts.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: There’s physical techniques, energetical techniques, mental techniques, visualization techniques, affirmations… There’s also something that women can do for men to help them. The 4th one is “Move”, and the 5th one is “Transform”, similar to the previous model. So this practice is going to transform your life, so change stuff in your life to transform your life so support your practice.

 

Host: Beautiful Eyal! Wow, the time has just flown by and I’m privileged to have you on this show And I think we need to get you back cause I’m 100% sure there’s gonna be a flood of questions coming in. It’s like: “We need Eyal back on the show! Got this, got this…” and oh man, when that happens we’re gonna get you back on and… So we’re gonna start wrapping up the show Eyal, and for this we’re going to the quickfire questions. The first question I wanna ask you Eyal is, to move away from what we were talking about, if you could go back in what we call our time-travel, you could go back to any moment in little Eyal’s life, where you could go and give one piece of advice, where would you go back to, and that would you tell him?

 

Eyal: If it’s my life I would choose to have it exactly… I wouldn’t say anything to my past self because everything that I experienced until now led me to where I’m at. So if I would give myself advice I wouldn’t be the same person. If it was an alternate reality or another version of myself in the quantum universe, I would say: “Be easy on yourself. Love yourself. Accept yourself. Yeah, be easy on yourself”.

 

Host: Nice.

 

Eyal: Cause I see this with myself, I see this with many people as well., they’re too hard on themselves. And self-love is the basis of all of the transformation and joy and fulfilment.

 

Host: Beautiful man, awesome. The next question I have for you Eyal, so obviously you’ve done a lot of research and you’ve read a lot of books… If there’s one book that’s a total must-read, aside from the one you’ve already written, what would that book be that people who are listening, who are watching here need to actually get out and must read so that they can improve their own sexual life and their sexuality?

 

Eyal: I have actually an answer which is… If it’s about sexuality humbly or proudly I would recommend my book,…

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: But in terms of personal development and masculinity and also building character, I have a recent favorite that I just read or listened to for the 2nd time, It’s called “Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday.A book about Stoic philosophy and I discovered I’ve basically been a Stoic all my life. It basically tells you to take full responsibility over yourself, over your actions, over over your reaction, and see everything that comes in your way, every obstacle that comes in your way, as the new way, as the thing you are actually meant to do and meant to deal with. So that’s beautiful. A book about sexuality… I’m hard pressed to… Is there more men listening to the show?

 

Host: Yeah. If it’s for men… So your book is for women right? Is there a male equivalent book that you think you’d be able to recommend?

 

Eyal: That I created or that somebody else created?

 

Host: Anything that you’ve read or studied.

 

Eyal: Yeah, OK. So something for men, yeah? This one is very good as generally I think there’s a lot of masculine qualities in this Stoic approach, “The Obstacle is the Way”. The other one I would recommend is “Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida. This is like a bible, a good kind of bible for men. Just reading the chapter headings is amazing.

 

Host: Awesome. We’ll add them into the show notes. And one question I’m excited to ask you Eyal is, for the modern world, women have elevated themselves with the feminist movement and they’re just growing and growing and [Unintelligible] in the modern world recently, but men I feel have been falling behind, have been left behind and there’s a huge gap. If there’s one thing more men need to study doing to bridge this gap, what would that be? What does the modern world need from the modern man today?

 

Eyal: It’s an interesting topic what you just shared with me. I think that even women still have a path to go because of how much they’ve become over-masculinised. I think that both of us need to reclaim our own innate sexuality. Many women have become too tough and many men have become too soft, and I’m not telling people that they have to be aggressive.

Masculinity is not being aggression, it’s about having a mission and it’s about serving the world from a place of love. So to be strong, loving men, to express all of the masculine aspects but also to embrace the feminine aspects. When you see me dance, I’m moving very, some people would say not femininely, but within my male body. Embracing their sexuality is very important. Understanding that they have a mission and to follow it, to pursue it and to discover it and to create it. That’s what I would really recommend men do. Embrace your sexualty, embrace your love, embrace your mission.

 

Host: Awesome. Love it man, love it. Our final question here Eyal, this one intrigues me a lot, I’m looking forward to your answer here, what would you describe as true, loving sexuality? What’s true love in your eyes?

 

Eyal: I’m not sure if I can define true love. I can define sexuality.

 

Host: Yeah.

 

Eyal: Really I think for true love we need another half an hour.

 

Host: [laughs]

 

Eyal: Well, if I can try that, true love for me is about acceptance, and it’s about seing not the perfect, but about seeing true characteristics of the other person beyond your own projections, beyond your own triggers. So even if you love somebody, you accept them and you see the beautiful thing in them. And seuality, an enlightened sexuality, a mature sexuality is finding the balance between your own needs and between fulfilling the other people’s needs and pleasuring them. It’s not about just giving and it’s not about just receiving – it’s about creating that beautiful yin and yang, that beautiful circle of… Cycle of giving and receiving.

 

Host: Beautiful man, I love it. So Eyal I wanna say once again thank you so much for jumping on the show, and if people wanna learn more about you and your work, where’s the best place they should go?

 

Eyal: There’s actually a free training about ejaculation control that men are very welcome to enjoy. So I took some of the most important things from my paid online program and put them in a free program. If they go to Ejaculationcontrolprogram.com, that’s men stuff, the women stuff is.. The book they can find it on Amazon and the link is Orgasmunleashed.com. And generally my website is Intimatepower.com. So all of them would lead to Intimatepower.

 

Host: Love it. And Eyal, is there anything you want to mention that we didn’t get a chance to cover on the show today?

 

Eyal: I would say, to sum up, love and accept yourself and others. The 2nd one is embrace your sexuality, explore it, express it. And the 3rd one is share your gift.

 

Host: Beautiful man. Once again thank you Eyal for jumping on the show. I appreciate it.

And so guys, this wraps up another episode of the Forge Your Life podcast today with Eyal of Intimatepower. And I know one thing. This has been a gift, it’s been a gift for Eyal to jump on the show, and we wanna make sure that we spread this message out there because this needs to see the light of day. And Eyal wants that, I want that, so make sure to head on over to iTunes and review the show so that this can get out there to more people, so that we can spread his message and all the other guests on this show out there to the world. And of course, head on over to Richardfoo.com for all the show notes and resources that Eyal has shared on the show here today.